By now you know better than to put “hit gym 5x a week” or “write screenplay by June” on your list, but January 1 should still provide motivation to make some little life improvements. Here are five New Year’s moves to commit to; they’re good for both your state of mind and the state of your union. And they’re so painless (even pleasurable) that they won’t be just a memory by MLK Day.
Cook More Often
Cutting back on your take-out habit and actually firing up the stove on weeknights might seem like an unexciting resolution to commit to. But by resisting the lure of that stack of menus even just a few nights a week, you’ll be rewarded with way more than the satisfaction of eating off of plates instead of Styrofoam containers. You’ll sneakily accomplish two loftier New Year’s goals: saving money and eating healthier. Even buying groceries at “Whole Paycheck” will be cheaper than thrice weekly orders of pad Thai and spicy tuna rolls (especially when you add on the shrimp dumplings and tip the delivery guy). You don’t have to be vegan to chef up meals that are less fattening and more vitamin-rich than restaurant fare. But it’s important (and more fun) to spend time together in the kitchen; it’s conducive to better conversations and husband-wife bonding, rather than what you’d get when plopped on the sofa eating from take-out containers in front of Top Chef.
Revamp Your Wardrobes
If your closet is so crammed that things that go in freshly laundered come out wrinkled from the squeeze, it’s time to streamline. It’s professional organizer conventional wisdom that most people wear 20 percent of their clothes 80 percent of the time, and it won’t take you long to ID the 80 percent that you never wear. Parting with it, however, can be a struggle (“but I used to live in miniskirts” or “what if I get rid of this flannel shirt, and then next month I need something to wear to a mid-’90s theme party?”). To get the perspective you need to shed the excess, take turns trying on your iffy old clothes in front of each other and doling out honest (but not brutal) feedback on which pieces deserve to be ditched.
Book a Do-nothing Vacation
Even though you know that vacations are good for your body, spirit, and relationship, it’s hard to commit to shelling out for travel when you’ve just read an article informing you that your future kids’ college tuitions will top $500k. But you can sneak in a vacation without denying your progeny advanced education -- do a little Internet research and stay flexible about where and when you’re up for going (deals can often be had in January, since it’s after the holiday rush but before Spring Break). Go ahead and ignore the little voice that says you should travel to culturally rich foreign capitals. With the U.S. currency in the tank, those places are too expensive anyway, so stick to umbrella drink destinations close to home without feeling like a slacker. Right now you can score airfare to Bermuda plus a four-night hotel stay for less than $500 each through Jet Blue’s website.
Stop Having Sex in Your Bed
And start doing it in every other corner of your house. Back in the day, smoking hot sex may have meant risque locations, naughty costumes, or props that could almost make Jenna Jameson blush, but now that you’ve settled into married life, steaming it up can be as simple as moving down the hall. Even if you’ve already christened the living room, the bathroom, and the kitchen floor, revisiting those spots will still have a sizzle factor that more time under your duvet can’t equal. Getting it on up against the dining room table or on an area rug will always feel more sexily spontaneous than coupling up in bed; plus, it forces you to twist into inventive positions that might become new favorites.
Support His Guys’ Nights Out
Sure, it’s hard not to resent the hours he spends away from you playing fantasy baseball or listening to Grateful Dead bootlegs with his buddies, not to mention the way he stumbles into bed afterward reeking. But if you consider that letting him have a guys’ night without grief may be the single biggest thing you can do to win “coolest wife on the planet” credentials, it’s really not such a big price to pay, is it? Tell him he should spend even more time having fun with his friends because he works so hard and it’s so important for him to unwind. You’re showing him that you truly care about his happiness (and accept that browsing the drawer pulls aisle at The Home Depot doesn’t cut it). That’s the sort of sentiment that will make your marriage stronger and make him eager to end those guys’ nights at a sane hour to race home to your side.
by Celeste Perron
6/26/08
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couple issues,
Love/Sex