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How to Beat Stress Together

Since your spouse causes half of your stress, it's only fair he or she helps take it away.

 

Hug It Out
Give your partner a hug after a long day at work. While you embrace, rub each other's upper back with your fingers and knuckles. Massage in between the shoulder blades and spine.

Share It
Spend time debriefing about your day, taking turns sharing how things went. Each of you should talk for at least two minutes. When your partner is sharing, try not to interrupt. Simply listen with all your attention. Having separate time to vent will make you feel heard and acknowledged; it will release some of that hot air that’s been brewing inside you.

Spoon Her
Lie together, one behind the other. Focus on taking long, deep breaths in unison. No need to talk; let the physical contact and deep breathing relax both of you. This works magic if you're not getting along or are feeling overwhelmed.

Give Mini Massages
Have your partner sit in a chair and stand behind it. Give a massage like a pro, applying pressure with your forearms on the muscles between the neck and shoulders. Ask if it feels good. When finished, switch positions.

Steamroll Him
Have your partner lie face down on the carpet or a futon. Lie on your partner's midsection so your bodies form a plus sign. Roll your body up and down your partner's body. Ease up on your weight around the knees. Ask if your weight feels okay.

Reconnect
It's important to acknowledge your partner for the many wonderful things you offer each other. Take turns talking about all the qualities that you love about the other. Begin your sharing with "I love how you..." or "I love when you..." Recognizing your partner makes her (and you) feel cared for and loved.

Put Your Feet Together
Have your partner lie face down on the carpet or a futon. Place a pillow under his feet. Stand by your partner's feet and face away. Walk your heels on up the soles of his feet. Ask if he likes your foot pressure.

Dance It Off
If you both feel worn out from a hard day, play some dance music and shake a leg together. Inspire each other to higher levels of enthusiasm and cardio exertion. Whatever was bothering you before you started dancing will vanish instantly.

Give a Rub Down
This is the world's easiest massage technique. Have your partner sit up in a forward bend. Make sure her legs are stretched out in front. Lie on your back about two feet behind your partner's back. Lift your heels up and place them on your partner's upper back. Rub your heels on the sore muscles between your partner's shoulder blades and spine. Ask if the pressure feels good. Switch positions.

[Nestpert] Darrin Zeer, author of Lover’s Yoga: Soothing Stretches for Two

>> Give an even longer (and very sexy) massage
>> Are you communicating effectively?

See more: couple issues, Love/Sex


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