How to Get a Good Night's Sleep

A dazed and confused newlywed tries to get some shut-eye.

 

Tactic #1: Stagger Bedtimes
The plan: Going to bed before your partner gives you a head start on falling into a deep sleep.
I skipped the end of Lost and went to bed first. He agreed to give me at least a 15-minute bed, er, head start. Alone, I immediately fell asleep. Unfortunately, my REMs lasted a mere 35 minutes before the sound of a flushing toilet woke me up. “Why are you so loud?” I yelled. He couldn’t reply because he fell asleep the minute his head hit the pillow.
The results: This could work as long as the couple in question doesn’t include a light sleeper (like me) or a person who's incapable of walking into a room without making a lot of noise (like him).

Tactic #2: Sex Before Bed
The plan: Research shows that orgasms relax you, making it easier to sleep.
I might've killed the mood by announcing we would need to have sex for the sake of the article, but let’s face it: He’s a man, and I really don’t have to romance him much. Without going into detail, I was more relaxed and ready for sleep when I closed my eyes for the night.
The results: Sure, it worked. However, I’m no Jenna Jameson, so I highly doubt I’ll be using this tactic on a nightly basis (sorry, honey).

Tactic #3: The Pillow Barrier
The plan: Placing a pillow vertically between the two of you prevents personal space invasion.
The pillow not only kept him from taking over my side of the bed, but I slept more soundly since I didn’t have to worry about being elbowed in the face (it’s happened once) or kneed in the back (too many times to count). Depending on how drastic the tosser, you might need two pillows.
The results: This was so simple I can’t believe I didn’t think of it myself. It can be used every night and eliminated as needed (see tactic #2).

Tactic #4: Occasionally Sleep Solo
The plan: Twelve percent of couples sleep alone, so one night won’t kill your relationship, right?
This test happened by accident after my man had one too many and passed out on the couch. Don’t get me wrong, I love him, but I was excited to sleep alone. I stretched out and kept the temperature how I wanted. It was like my single days, except I could wake up my cutie on the couch if I got lonely.
The results: On a regular basis, it would be a relationship killer (sorry to say it). But if you desperately need some ZZZs, it’s okay to ask for the whole bed.

The Verdict: The winner is the pillow barrier: easy, affordable, and healthier than sleeping alone. But I learned an even more valuable lesson: When I get enough rest, I feel less stressed -- and my man and I get along better. So the next time you and your mate are headed for a meltdown, why not do like kindergartners and take a quick nap -- with a pillow, of course.

See more: couple issues, Love/Sex


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