My husband is addicted to his BlackBerry. He uses it while he drives, while he watches TV, and, worst of all, while I'm talking. And believe me, he's no multitasker. The other morning I woke up thinking there was a mouse nibbling on something, but it was just my husband sending emails from bed. Funny, yes. Could I let it continue? No.
Not wanting to harm my husband's career (after all, that's what this thing is for), he and I came up with three ways to limit his CrackBerry addiction. Then we put each one to the test.
Plan 1: No Crack in the Bedroom
This was suggested by many Nesties as the perfect solution (one even named her husband's BlackBerry "Rochelle," since it has unfortunately become his "other woman"). I felt this was too easy. My husband can fall asleep before I even turn off the light, so he was able to check his late-night emails, put BB in the living room, and fall asleep without thinking twice about his phone not being by his side. Did I wake up to tapping and clicking? Nope, the radio alarm was music to my ears. But this method did stall our getting ready-for-work routine because he now had to read his early-morning messages in the living room before getting in the shower.
The Verdict: This helped, but not enough. I was still cuddling with my husband and BB on the couch at night.
Plan 2: Out of Sight, Out of Mind
Suggested by my husband, he decided that he would put BB on the bookshelf by the entryway (of our 450-square-foot apartment) so that he wouldn't be distracted by the red flashing light that indicates an incoming message. He seemed able to let go pretty easily. Then I noticed something strange: He was really antsy and always pacing. He was checking the closets for things, going to the kitchen, looking at our bookcase. Ahh-ha! Every stroll around the apartment gave him a chance to check BB.
The Verdict: This was a great start, and it's a solution I could live with. I think it would've worked better in a bigger apartment.
Plan 3: Designated Hours
I don't like the idea of being a drill sergeant for my husband. I'm not a neat freak. I don't consider myself incredibly needy. But I do like some one-on-one time. Even if we're watching TV together, it's nice to share something that's funny...and not have to repeat it to a distracted husband who was typing an email (or worse, trying to beat his record at BrickBreaker, the silly game that comes standard on BlackBerries).
I got this idea from a Nestie who said she had designated non-BlackBerry hours for her husband, where his system is actually turned off. But since we don't have a house phone, this is the only way to contact him, so that wasn't possible for us. We decided that 8 to 10:30 p.m. would be our non-BB time, except for important phone calls (meaning parents, friends, or work). And if I'm on the phone, it's a-okay for him to type away. At home, BB could be checked about every three hours (nothing too rigid formatted, but in that general time frame).
The Verdict: This was a little harder. Not having his phone with him at all times, he went through a bit of withdrawal, and BB would occasionally end up forgotten on the coffee table out of habit (and left there out of my laziness). As time passed, it was great. he would check his phone only before dinner and then again before bed. But every once in a while, I'd see him sneaking in a game of BrickBreaker, especially on shopping trips with me -- but maybe that's a reason to keep this thing around!
Final Verdict
The best idea was designated hours, but the real benefit of this experiment was talking openly about my husband's CrackBerry addiction. I used to just roll my eyes or make a joke attempting to let him know how much it irritated me. But after we talked about fixing the problem, he suddenly realized it was a problem. I might not have completely gotten rid of the third member of our marriage, but at least I don't have to eat or sleep with it anymore.
6/27/08
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