Q.
My husband is very conservative in his everyday life and in bed. How do you lure a shy man into something a little more wild?
A.
I'm so glad you've asked me about this because usually we think men are the ones who are always trying to encourage their women to be a bit more adventurous. But just as often, it’s women who want to cut loose and are worried about upsetting their husband.
The best place to start? Ask yourself why you think he's conservative and shy in bed. Is it simply low sexual confidence? Or maybe a lack of sexual experience before meeting you? Is it something more complex, like he had his "fingers burnt" in a past relationship and that makes him feel he can't let go fully? Sometimes understanding why a person is shy and conservative in bed helps to change things for the better.
The next tip is to always heap loads of praise on a shy partner when he even starts something new or a little different. The more praise he gets, the more he'll think to himself, "Ooh, this feels good! I'm being told how amazing I am!" So if he begins to touch you in a new place or slightly alter his position, tell him how good it feels!
Next, you can invest in a sex guide -- mine or someone else’s -- and tell him you'd like a sensuous evening of reading through passages together. Tell him you'd love him to highlight something he might want to try. At the same time, tell him you feel quite shy and a bit nervous about it, but that you want to make sure you both fully enjoy sex together.
Nestpert: Dr. Pam Spurr, author of Make Love All Night & Talk to Him in the Morning and Naughty Tricks and Sexy Tips: A Couple's Guide to Uninhibited Sexual Pleasure
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