You Asked:
I orgasm fairly easily during masturbation and oral sex, but I've never been able to climax during penetration. Is this a physical thing or a mental thing?
Dr. Pam Answers:
This is an incredibly common set of circumstances. Around 70 percent of women who can orgasm in other ways have difficulty reaching orgasm during penetrative sex. This can be a physical "thing," a mental "thing," or a combination of both.
Physically, a woman needs the "right" type of physical stimulation of her clitoral region to reach full orgasm. Some stimulation in the general area might sexually arouse her but not be enough to allow her to actually climax. It can also be a mental thing, though, where a woman simply finds it hard to "let go" during full penetrative sex. And, of course, it can be a combination of the lack of the right physical stimulation and some emotional inhibitions.
What you need to do is think through these possibilities and how they apply to you. Perhaps your husband gives you exactly the right friction and pressure you need during oral sex to make you climax; and when you masturbate, you also know precisely what pressure, speed, friction, and so on to bring yourself to orgasm. Take this knowledge into penetrative sex. It may be that you need to slightly alter the position you two use, or try completely new positions. Or it may mean you want to introduce your hand or his hand to your clitoral region while you're having penetrative sex. With this added manual stimulation, you may reach climax. Alternatively, you might slip a vibrator between you to give you clitoral pleasure while you continue to have penetrative sex. Just be sure to let your husband know you want to sex-periment!
>> Read more of Dr. Pam's advice
>> Have a question for Dr. Pam? Email her at: drpam@thenest.com
Dr. Pam is the author of Make Love All Night & Talk to Him in the Morning and Naughty Tricks and Sexy Tips: A Couple's Guide to Uninhibited Sexual Pleasure
by The Nest Editors
6/30/08
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