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No, you're most definitely not a bad wife! It's a completely natural part of human nature to wonder about the what-ifs. Because our minds are so curious, we're always bouncing things around, including the questions about what we haven't done -- just as we bounce around the questions about what we could've done differently!

Such fantasies become a problem when they become obsessions. By this I mean when a lot of your waking time is devoted to fantasizing about this guy. Or if you come to resent your husband, thinking you didn't play the field enough before getting married. Be aware that this little fantasy is okay if you sometimes think about it -- just like you sometimes think about other aspects of your life that did or didn't happen. If, however, it becomes a big deal, then you need to ask yourself why you have a sense that the grass might have been greener if you’d taken your flirting further with this guy.

You should also look to rekindle some of the spark with your husband. Focus all of your energies on him and your relationship so that you can keep your fantasies in perspective. Call your husband up to say something loving and sexy. It's the little things that can tip the balance so that you regain the spark in your relationship. Another tip you can try is to imagine that it would’ve been a terrible disaster if you had taken things further with your crush. Paint a picture in your mind that you two would've been completely incompatible -- making it a very good thing that it never went past the flirting stage! We can always turn these fantasies on their heads by imagining that it all would've been a horrible mistake.

Nestpert: Dr. Pam Spurr, author of Make Love All Night & Talk to Him in the Morning and Naughty Tricks and Sexy Tips: A Couple's Guide to Uninhibited Sexual Pleasure

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