Q.
My husband is afraid of me using a vibrator because he's worried it'll replace him. How can I make him more comfortable with the idea?
A.
Many men fear they'll become redundant when their woman whips out a vibrator. Think about it -- when a woman finds a vibrator that suits her, it does become difficult for a man to compete. What a man does, however, is provide a completely different sensation -- clearly an emotional one.
The perfect scenario is having both of you feel comfortable with a battery-powered friend. How? First off, you could choose one that in no way, shape, or form resembles a penis. Perhaps one of the quirky "rabbit" vibrators, the "butterfly" that fits over your clitoris, or the little finger vibes that slip onto his index finger. Second, show him the pleasure he'll get! Share those good vibrations by moving your toy around his testicles, down his perineum, and around his buttocks. He'll probably love it!
Drive him mad by saying you'll do a bit of a show for him -- lie back and pleasure yourself right in front of him! You could also point out that just because he has a hand, you're not redundant, are you? Because we all know that those naughty devils -- even happily married -- masturbate on the sly!
Nestpert: Dr. Pam Spurr, author of Make Love All Night & Talk to Him in the Morning and Naughty Tricks and Sexy Tips: A Couple's Guide to Uninhibited Sexual Pleasure
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