Q.
My husband thinks things like role-playing are kind of silly. What are some fun ways to spice up things, without my husband feeling like he's out of his comfort zone?
A.
I'm not surprised your husband says role-playing is a bit silly. Many men find it silly when they haven't even tried it! Sometimes, if they can be coaxed into trying it, they enjoy it. Other times, they end up having a bit of a giggle. But what's wrong with laughter in the bedroom? I think we take sex far too seriously! It's important for him to realize that there's a difference between role-playing and simply telling each other about your fantasies. If you describe to him in fantastic detail what you fantasize about, it can be incredibly erotic. You can try some fun and spicy things like wearing super-sexy clothes and giving him a lap dance. Or playing around with things like handcuffs (many are padded or fur-lined for comfort). You don't have to do any role-playing; instead, simply have fun taking turns being handcuffed and letting the other roam around your body. Then there's the vast array of sex toys to play with. Many men get incredibly turned on watching their partner playing with a sex toy. Or they enjoy being pleasured with one themselves. Other ways to spice up things are to be a bit daring and finding a "lover's lane" to enjoy some oral sex or other sex play in your car or on a picnic blanket. Also, I'd recommend my books and other sex guides to give you lots of ideas for all sorts of different positions.
Nestpert: Dr. Pam Spurr, author of Make Love All Night & Talk to Him in the Morning and Naughty Tricks and Sexy Tips: A Couple's Guide to Uninhibited Sexual Pleasure
See More: Sex Q&A