Q.
My husband is only able to orgasm during oral sex. He tries and wants to climax while inside of me, but he hasn’t yet. So I was just wondering if there is something we can try for him to achieve an orgasm without oral stimulation.
A.
Does he have any concern about you getting pregnant? As you don’t say whether or not you two have children, are planning to have children, or don’t want children, I’d like you to consider this. Some men who are worried about pregnancy end up subconsciously stopping themselves from ejaculating during penetration. This reassures them that pregnancy won’t take place -- but actually you can get pregnant through any penetration, as a man produces seminal fluid even when excited. If you two haven’t discussed this, then it’s time that you do so in a loving and caring way, rather than a threatening way.
Otherwise, does he have an issue about the “mess” it may cause you with vaginal leakage after he ejaculates? Again, some men have such concerns. Another issue some men have is a worry over deeper emotional intimacy, and for them ejaculating during penetration symbolizes this. There’s much for you two to think about. When you’re both feeling relaxed, try gently raising these various ideas with him. If after such conversations he still cannot let go, you may want to see a sex therapist. However, if he satisfies you with penetration and then withdraws before he ejaculates, who says there’s anything wrong with that?
Nestpert: Dr. Pam Spurr, author of Make Love All Night & Talk to Him in the Morning and Naughty Tricks and Sexy Tips: A Couple's Guide to Uninhibited Sexual Pleasure
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