Q.
Before we were married you couldn't drag us out from under the sheets. After our wedding, it seems we never get around to having sex anymore. What gives?
A.
Ah, you've got that common newlywed ailment: post-honeymoon, sex-comes-last-on-our-list syndrome! Now that you've committed your love, it's easy to stop putting each other first (i.e. you start taking each other for granted). How are you going to bring back the early-day lust? It's a mix of pragmatism and passion. Plan time for sex. Sure it sounds inorganic, but as your lives become busier, you have to put sex at the top of the to-do list.
Each week you need to go into "pre-honeymoon" mode: Dream up little surprises like watching a sexy movie ("9 1/2 Weeks" is a classic), and clear a couple hours together for loving time (that's what Tivo was made for). Do whatever it takes to remind yourselves of why you fell in love in the first place -- ‘cause you both saw the other as one hot prospect!
With that comes making an effort with your appearances too. Why not slip into a pair of sexy skivvies you wore back in your single days? Men are wired to react to visual stimuli, and the sight of you in something slinky is a surefire way to up his sex drive. And there's nothing wrong with asking him to remind you of one of the naughty things he'd do to turn you on.
Nestpert: Dr. Pam Spurr, author of Make Love All Night & Talk to Him in the Morning and Naughty Tricks and Sexy Tips: A Couple's Guide to Uninhibited Sexual Pleasure
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