Q.
I'm a 30-year-old female, and I'm only able to orgasm when I masturbate. I've been faking orgasms with my fiance for four years now, and I can't tell him the truth. What else can I do?
A.
It's time to stop faking.
Some women find it impossible to confess that they've been faking and instead use the following tactic. If you can't face him honestly with this, then tell him you've "been a bit stressed recently and are finding it hard to get aroused." And then see if he's up for trying a new form of stimulation.
It's important in a committed relationship that you can bring up issues like this. This tactic can start real communication. Then guide him into recreating the stimulation you get through masturbation. Many women feel exactly as you do and only get stimulation through using something like a vibrator. You can make guiding him part of a fantasy role play where, for example, you pretend to be the "patient" and he's the "doctor," and you guide him in his examination. Take it slowly and hopefully you can recreate those sensations with him. Also, there are various vibrators with a "flattened" shape that gives great stimulation to women who like the sensations you do.
Nestpert: Dr. Pam Spurr, author of Make Love All Night & Talk to Him in the Morning and Naughty Tricks and Sexy Tips: A Couple's Guide to Uninhibited Sexual Pleasure
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