How to Avoid Thank-you Note Hell

Quick thank-you note tips to make gift-givers glad they spoiled you.

 

Ripping through all your wedding gifts like kids on Christmas probably sounds grand. But beware that your postpresent high might be killed when you remember that you have one final chore: thank-you notes. The task of writing a personal note to 180 guests is definitely daunting, but it's not impossible. Here's a survival guide:

Preparation: What You Need to Know

Keep in mind that the thank-you note project began way back when you gathered your guests' names and addresses to send the invitations. Before you start opening gift boxes, pull out your handy-dandy list and record each gift next to the giver's name and address.

Getting Started: Set up Your Station

  • Set up a designated writing area at home. Make sure it's a comfortable place, not too far from the kitchen or bathroom, with a TV or radio nearby.
  • Buy yourself some great stationery. Now that the wedding is over, act like newlyweds and get the good stuff. Go for the heavy-duty notecards in ecru. Even better: Have them monogrammed with your names or new initials. Go ahead, flaunt your married status!
  • Equip yourself with pens that you like to write with. Stay away from the cheap supermarket variety that leave big ink blobs when they're overused. Go for a more grown-up writing instrument -- rollerball pens are much smoother. Mont Blanc makes some impressive models if you've got the cash.

Writing Them: Tips and Tricks

No matter the specific wording, your thank-yous should be equal in sentiment. A gift is a gift (even if it's not exactly what you asked for) and deserves a certain amount of gratitude. Here's some helpful advice:

  • Try to start writing thank-yous as early as possible, preferably as soon as gifts begin arriving.
  • Don't attempt to get them all done in one sitting. Trust us -- it simply won't happen. Instead, make a goal to write about five or six a night. Prioritizing isn't necessary, but if you feel someone went above and beyond for you, put them first on your list.
  • For most couples, the bride usually takes on the responsibility of writing to her family and friends, while the groom writes to his. But we also like the idea of spicing things up with a little role reversal -- writing to your spouse's loved ones could be a great way to get better acquainted with them.
  • The rule for gifts received before the wedding is to send out thank-yous within two weeks of their arrival; after the wedding, within a month of your return from the honeymoon. Well, it's a nice thing to aspire to, but if you get them all done before your two-month anniversary, you'll be happy and so will your guests.
  • Be sure to write a few words about the gift on your address list so you don't get confused. You'll never remember which of the 10 crystal vases your Aunt Alma gave you, so be specific: "Waterford Balmoral vase."
  • If the gift was money, mention how you plan to use it (house down payment, amazing honeymoon). And remember, the amount might not seem even comparable to some of the other checks you received, but it probably seemed generous to them, so always thank them for their generosity.
  • Add personality to the note. Just like you don't want to open a boring gift, no one wants to read a boring thank-you. Incorporate some personal flair and enthusiasm, as if you were thanking them in person. This is sure to make your gift-giver smile and praise your gratitude.
  • Make it personal. Be sure to include at least one anecdote that lets your readers know they didn't get a generic thank-you letter. Reference a statement from their card, their support throughout the planning process, their friendship to your parents, or something funny they did at the wedding.
  • Put a big check mark next to the guest's name when the thank-you note has been signed, sealed, and delivered -- this is the part you'll enjoy most.
    >> Manage your thank-yous here.

Expert Examples: Take Note

  • Sample thank-you note for a cash gift:
    Dear Aunt Sue and Uncle Dave,
    Thank you so much for your generous gift. As you could probably tell from the wedding, green is our favorite color! But in all seriousness, many thanks for thinking of us and for sharing in our special day. We know you had to travel a great distance, and we really appreciate that you came. It wouldn't have been the same without you. 
  • Sample thank-you note for a gift chosen from your bridal registry:
    Dear Elizabeth and Albert,
    Thank you so much for the crystal wine goblets. We now have a complete set! Derek and I are looking forward to your next visit, so we can enjoy a drink together. Thank you again for thinking of us at this special time in our lives.
  • Sample thank-you note for a gift you really didn't like:
    Dear Winona and Leif,
    Thank you for the fluorescent lava lamps. You are both so thoughtful! Every time we look at them, we'll think of you and this special time in our lives.

by The Nest Editors
2/12/08

See more: couple issues, Love/Sex


related content

related resources

Baby & Maternity

>> Nemia Creative [Northern California]
Announce your little one in style! We offer custom designed birth announcements,...

>> Bella Mama [South Florida]
Essential skin care for expecting mothers. Visit our website's retail directory...

>> The Nest Baby Shop [Northern California]
Cute, creative gifts for babies, siblings, and even moms, featuring gifts you'll...

>> Blue Tulip [Philadelphia]

>> Southern California Reproductive Center - Wendy Chang, M.D. [Los Angeles]
Dr. Chang is a reproductive endocrinologist and infertility specialist at...

Personal Growth

>> Janice C. Burnham, M.A., L.P.C. [Dallas-Fort Worth]
Feather your nest with skills to help keep your marriage warm and cozy. Identify...

>> Dawn Christie Psychic Retreat & Spa [Los Angeles]
Dawn Christie shares valuable skills for enhancing intimate relationships. ...

>> Timecapsule Preservation [Austin]
No matter what, protecting your gown makes sense. Whether you want to save your...

>> Central Christian Church [Los Angeles]
Central Christian Church is an open and affirming place, where everyone is...

>> Five Star Wedding Gown Specialist [San Antonio]
Preservation and Restoration experts. We are the only certifiedlicensed speciali...

Romantic Getaways

>> 1886 Crescent Hotel & Spa [Dallas-Fort Worth]
From rehearsal to reception our staff of professionals will transform what you...

>> Hilton Grand Rapids Airport [Grand Rapids]
Immerse yourself in the warm surroundings of our Grand Ballroom, and let our...

>> Hotel Allegro [Chicago]
Place your special day in the very capable hands of our expert planners at the...

>> Park Avenue Travel [Philadelphia]
Park Avenue Travel, a Virtuoso Member Agency, creates dream vacations. From...

>> The Allerton Hotel [Chicago]
The Ballroom on the 23rd floor offers magnificent views of the Chicago skyline....

>> See resources in another market

related discussions

>> Is it ok to "check out" the opposite sex?
Posted by: Brown-eyed-bride 5/7/2008

>> What is the mini pill?
Posted by: ms.fine 5/5/2008

>> Pain during sex?
Posted by: Jax6683 5/5/2008

best of the nest

25 beautiful bathrooms
Submit your decor photos!

Eco chic
Effortless ways to go green

Organize your life!
Download our checklists