Top Career Questions Answers

We asked our experts to help you with your work woes.

My husband works late a lot, so I end up spending too much time home alone. How can we make time for each other?

So many of us have this problem -- we should all hang out! It’s easy to get steamed. It doesn’t help to harass him about his long hours if he can’t help it. And hopefully the money and experience will mean great things for your future. But it’s important for your marriage to make time to do things as a duo. It'll help you feel more grounded, less anxious, and actually married!

What we suggest: Change your concept of what counts as couple time. If you’re both pooped after a long day of work, you'll want to sleep, not go for a romantic walk. Instead, try waking up earlier in the morning so you have time to cuddle without feeling rushed. Or set a date to have breakfast together -- say, every Friday morning at the bagel shop. Meet for lunch when he’s working on the weekends.

When you’re flexible about how and when to enjoy your couple moments, you’ll be able to appreciate them more and will not become upset when he misses dinner…again. Don’t forget to pepper each other daily with emails, voicemails, or text messages. Little love boosts will keep you smiling when you’re apart.

P.S. Why are you home alone? Go to the gym, meet friends, take an Italian class, volunteer. Languishing doing nothing will only lead to frustration.

Should I use all of my vacation days, even though everyone else in my office seems not to?

Figuring out how to take all your vacation days while still looking dedicated to the team (and boss) is a good exercise in time management. Factor in some late nights or work on the weekends leading up to your vacation so you feel you can go away with a clear mind, and show everyone you know business comes first.

Ask a trusted coworker to be the point person on any important projects that might require attention in your absence. Let all the key coworkers and clients know who they should contact if they have any questions. And give top superiors your contact info and let them know that you’re available 24/7. If you manage other employees, create a list of priorities for them to work on while you’re out of town. Email the office midway through your vacation and elevate yourself to hero status.

Bottom line: You don’t need to use every last one of your vacation days, especially if you can roll them over or cash them in for some extra dough. But then again, a piña colada is a terrible thing to waste.

Should I take a job I’ll probably enjoy less than my current position for a large pay increase?

There’s a lot of value in being happy at work, but money talks. We say: Go for it! Each job has its ups and downs, and we can’t totally love every position we ever have. If money and networking are top priorities right now, it could go a long way toward advancing your career. You could also leverage this opportunity with your current employer to see if they’d make a counter offer. When you have two jobs on the table, look over the entire package for each: pay, benefits, commute, hours, responsibility, and enjoyment; compare it to your debt, commute times, and money-related life changes on the horizon. It’s certainly hard to make the leap and leave the comfort level of your current job, but you can’t stay stagnant in that cube forever.

What’s the best way to ask for a raise?

Market yourself! If you want a promotion or just more dough, you need to show the head honchos how great you are. Your yearly review is a great time to broach the subject, but if that’s not standard at your office, ask to schedule a meeting about job performance.

Come prepared: Write out your job description and then include what you do that’s above and beyond. Quantify your contributions and show how you saved or made the company money. Even if you’re not in sales, show how your work contributed to your company’s success.

Enter right: When you walk into your superior’s office, stand in the doorway for a few seconds before entering. The visual frames you, makes you look important, and it’ll help set the tone for a serious discussion.

Know your number: Come with a specific dollar amount in mind, one that you think truly reflects the compensation you deserve. Do some research and have an idea of how much people in your position and locale earn. Then ask for even more. You’re not going to get fired for asking for a raise, and bosses like ambition.

Show your loyalty: Make it clear how much you enjoy your job and how excited you are to keep doing good work; you just want to see how appreciated you are in return.

Ask again: If your request is denied, ask for another review in six months. At that point, if no raise or promotion is offered, take matters into your own hands and look for a new job.

Does it look bad if I don’t attend out-of-work activities my coworkers invite me to?

On the weekends, we like to leave the office behind and pretend it doesn’t exist. Meeting up with your cubicle buddies may not always be a high priority, but that doesn’t mean you should constantly blow off invites from fellow desk jockeys. So make the effort, especially if your boss will be there -- extra face time with the bigwigs is great for your career. To that end, spend 10 minutes finding out about your boss so you can pretend that the St. Louis Cardinals are your favorite baseball team too. (Hey, we take brownnosing very seriously at The Nest.) And as for those Friday evenings when you simply don’t want to do anything else but curl up on the couch, decline without giving a reason, and you’ll earn bonus points for being cool.

-- Alonna Friedman