My husband works late a lot, so I end up spending too much time home alone. How can we make time for each other?
So many of us have this problem -- we should all hang out! It’s easy to get steamed. It doesn’t help to harass him about his long hours if he can’t help it. And hopefully the money and experience will mean great things for your future. But it’s important for your marriage to make time to do things as a duo. It'll help you feel more grounded, less anxious, and actually married!
What we suggest: Change your concept of what counts as couple time. If you’re both pooped after a long day of work, you'll want to sleep, not go for a romantic walk. Instead, try waking up earlier in the morning so you have time to cuddle without feeling rushed. Or set a date to have breakfast together -- say, every Friday morning at the bagel shop. Meet for lunch when he’s working on the weekends.
When you’re flexible about how and when to enjoy your couple moments, you’ll be able to appreciate them more and will not become upset when he misses dinner…again. Don’t forget to pepper each other daily with emails, voicemails, or text messages. Little love boosts will keep you smiling when you’re apart.
P.S. Why are you home alone? Go to the gym, meet friends, take an Italian class, volunteer. Languishing doing nothing will only lead to frustration.
[Nestpert] Debra Mandel, PhD, author of Your Boss Is Not Your Mother and founder of drdebraonline.com
by Grace Jidoun
7/1/08
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