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Merge Your Stuff (Without Killing Each Other)

Hate each other's decorating taste? Here's how to meet in the middle.

Face it: When you first move in together, the whole furniture-negotiation thing can get tricky. After all, you're doing more than just merging sofas and art -- you're blending two personalities and past lives. So how do you pull it off together? Read on.

Ditch That Baggage
Who you? Harbor junk? Admit it -- that floral comforter has gotta go. What isn't essential goes into storage, gets donated to charity, or sold on eBay. For can't-part-with-'em items, display them differently. His trophy collection may look a lot less heinous on brand-new mounted shelves than they do scattered on the bedroom floor.

Meet in the Middle
You dig clean and modern; he loves warm and traditional.There's a place for everything, just not necessarily together. Since mixing French scenes with football posters is a tall order, relegate each style to an appropriate room. If he spends more time in the den, add some touches that will make him feel cozier. If she's always hanging in your home office, let that be the streamlined space with splashes of color.

Shop Together
If only your style dominates the décor of your together space, it’s not going to feel like a married home. Joint purchases help represent both personalities, so suck it up and shop as a team. Start with small things like frames, place mats, and lamps. To find where your styles overlap, scan our decor galleries together.

Book a Facelift
Before you dump his black leather bachelor couch or he forces you to lose those cutesy checked chairs, give them a new life. Reupholster or slipcover pieces -- you'll save hundreds -- maybe even thousands of bucks -- instead of starting from scratch.

Maintain “Me” Space
Sharing a home doesn't mean you have to hang in the same room 24-7. Designate Zen areas to escape to (okay, from each other). Maybe yours is the porch and his is the kitchen table. Wherever your Zen zone is, make it comfy with your favorite items.

Don't Panic-Decorate
You don’t have to deck out your entire home overnight -- in fact, it'll totally look thrown together if you do. Getting pieces you both agree on is a process, so make it fun -- a travel piece here, a birthday gift there. If you wind up with an eclectic mix of stuff, all the better. You're not a cookie cutter couple, so why make your home look that way?

Get more design inspiration at TheNest.com.

-- The Nest Editors

Jul 23, 2010

See More: Cleaning & Organizing , Buying Furniture , Decor Trends , Decor Tricks , Just Moved , Newlywed Central , Style Solutions

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Have any ideas for a pack-rat who loves a minimalist? My Fiance wants me to get rid of everything... and not buy any more stuff. I'm fairly organized but I do have a lot of things. He could live with one towel and two sets of clothes. I like to decorate. Help!

by theatre_steph on Jun 30, 2009

You come with stuff. Part of the deal. He has an issue with that you need to make clear you aren't going to suddenly go zen and no amount of nagging will make you. Compromise time. For him to.

by Adrini76 on Jul 24, 2010

my fience lived in a frat house and i lived at home before we got a place together so i brought very little and he brought alot of stuff that i absolutly HATE. He is very attached to most of his things and expects me to just add things i like, but when it comes to decorating i believe less is more. How can i make the place feel like its ours not his without getting in more fights because i dont like his things? (btw we live in a very small 1 bed apt)

by hdunn89 on Aug 06, 2010

I've just moved in with my boyfriend. His is a man cave with huge flat screen tv, silly junk type gifts scattered all over the place and hockey signia everything everywhere: cups, glasses, tea towels, clothing, posters, etc. I don't like any of the junk or his taste in decor. He had the place custom painted, 2000 sq ft, every room, in baby blue,and counters hand picked. They are so ugly I was sure they were discount discards he must have got for free. We are trying to merge households but all my stuff is in boxes because every closet and cupboard is so full of what I consider junk, there is no room. He says he is willing to part but has no time to consult in deciding what to keep. How do I merge gracefully and respect his choices in decor and nic nacs. All his nic nacs are sentimental to him.

by cmtrekker on Feb 10, 2011

It’s always tuff with couples who have different opinions and dissimilar tastes. A good choice would be to actually go out shopping things together then you know what the other partner likes or doesn’t likes. This way you’ll avoid having arguments at home. I really enjoyed these tips, thanks! Matt flooring Winston Salem

by MattKent on Jul 28, 2011

Compromise is the keyword when a couple is deciding on different aspects of home décor for their new home. An essential aspect of home décor has not been covered by here- Lighting! Lighting will accelerate your home décor to a whole new level! However, once again the issue of which types of stylish lighting to use needs to be tackled. For whichever occasion – party, Christmas, romantic dinner at home, perhaps it is always handy to keep some portable fairy lights and party lights to augment any existing home décor and you don’t need to fix any lighting points for these!

by JohnChristmas on Aug 11, 2011

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by kijijiie49 on Oct 25, 2011