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Hostess How-to

Letitia Baldridge, etiquette expert and author of Letitia Baldrige's Guide to New Manners for New Times, shares her secrets on what makes a good host a great host, and why your guests will never want to leave (until you want them to, of course).

In the Bedroom
1. Before your visitors arrive, take control of the temperature in your guest room. In the winter, set out extra blankets on the bed or put a small space heater on the floor. During the summer or warm months, make sure that windows can be opened easily if the room gets stuffy, that screens are secure, and that shades work so early-morning light can be blocked out.

2. On the bedside table, leave an alarm clock and reading lamps. "Many people forget about lighting in the guest rooms," Baldridge says. And what about the guest-room closets that are jam-packed with your out-of-season skirts and old bridesmaid dresses? Clear out enough space for your company's stuff and leave a supply of empty hangers.

3. Have you ever gone on a trip and wished you'd brought something to read? Head off any literary urges with a stack of magazines. Current issues are best, Baldridge says, so you're not offering old news. A best-selling book would be a nice touch too. Just pop in a note that says, "Don't worry if you don't have time to finish. Take me with you when you leave!"

4. Leave a canister of cookies on the bureau. Put out bottled water and/or soft drinks to wash them down (with some glasses too), along with a small chest filled with ice and tongs. For healthier palates, set out a plate of fresh fruit (whole apples, pears, peaches, bananas) and a knife. And don't forget the napkins -- fruit can be juicy! Think of the whole setup as your guest's personal minibar -- sans alcohol and, of course, the exorbitant a la carte fees.

In the Bathroom
5. Make sure the bathroom is clean, especially the tub and shower curtain, which are often neglected in a spare room. We like to leave a can of air-freshener in close reach, since guests might feel self-conscious asking for it after the fact. And don't overlook the need for extra toilet paper. Put the spares in a visible spot (try a basket on the floor) so guests don't need to rummage around looking for a roll.

6. Think like a hotelier. Put bars of scented hand and bath soaps on the counter (the prettier, the better). Set out a few overturned glasses on the sink so guests can rinse after brushing. And lots of fluffy towels -- bath, hand, and face -- are a must. Warming them in the dryer before use will win you extra-credit points.

7. Make a list of all of the toiletries you've ever forgotten on a trip, then run to the drugstore to buy at least one of each. Your guests will feel spoiled, and you'll come off smelling like a rose.

Meals & Activities
8. Let your guests know what you have planned before they arrive. If you're taking them on a hike or bringing them to a dinner party at your neighbor's house, they'll appreciate being able to pack accordingly. Personal touch: Leave a printed itinerary and welcome note -- personal stationery optional -- in the guest room. Include a list of important phone numbers (yes, Chinese takeout counts), bus/train schedules, and local maps.

9. Ask if anyone has dietary restrictions so you can stock up appropriately. If they don't eat meat, be sure to offer other options. Extra points: Go online to find vegetarian recipes and experiment beforehand.


10. If you don't have the time to prepare every meal, go out. Everyone loves to try new restaurants (especially if this is their first visit) -- and escaping from the kitchen for a night will take the pressure off of you.

-- The Nest Editors

Dec 29, 2009

See More: Entertaining , Food & Recipes , Holiday

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Some of these suggestions seem ridiculously stuffy. Why set out a plate of snacks in your guest room? Open up your kitchen to your guests, and invite them to help themselves (put the cookies or fruit in a visible place if you want) - are interactions between you and your guest so awkward that you need to keep them relegated to their bedroom?

by sekolbe on Dec 30, 2009

I have been doing the basket of toiletries for a few years....I can't tell you how much everyone LOVES it! It's also perfect for the last-minute, unexpected overnight guest. People have been telling me I'm a genius on this one!

by aubreyloveskaleb on Feb 12, 2010

I'm with sekolbe on this one. My guests know where my fridge is, and I make sure that they know they're welcome to anything in it. Likewise, why would I leave them a welcome note and a written schedule? The notes and letters are for before the visit, when you're actually in different cities; now that your guest is in the next room, shouldn't you actually talk to each other? Other things on this list are a good idea; I have a company checklist that I go through when someone comes to visit, which includes some extra toiletries in visible spots, extra towels, and unclutting the closet in the spare room (okay, okay, and the room itself).

by tree.hugger.chick on May 24, 2010

Anyone I know would laugh really hard if I left a written schedule by their bedside. Especially if it included a number for Chinese takeout! What universe are these authors from?!?!

by DeirdreBrazil on Sep 02, 2010

If women wrote this article, they have clearly never had a job. If men wrote this, they are inventing jobs for women.

by DeirdreBrazil on Sep 02, 2010

@ sekolbe.. i think this is suggested for guets that are not as familiar (family) with you. Friends, new inlaws, etc who may feel awkard walking to the kitchen if they get thirsty or feel like snacking in the middle of the night. it's a nice touch, i have done it with my new family and friends and though at the end of the visit they feel they can open the fridge and get what they want, this is a "springboard" to that liberty that you already have with say family members. I'd encourage everyone to do it. it's about being a great host, not jsut a good one ;-)

by Fox-y-Pao on Nov 06, 2010

Might be nice to include at least one tip for those of us living in cities without the luxaries of spare bedrooms and bathrooms.

by lserwer on Nov 19, 2010

House guests are normally friends or family, and not strangers. I leave toiletries out for them as well as their favorite snack. I think they should be visiting with me and not reading magazines or books. I would feel they didn't want to be there or they are bored. YUK! These suggestions sound like a bed and breakfast set up, not having house guests. I don't know about anyone else, but I don't invite people to stay at my house that I don't know. Sorry, but it was a waste of a read for me.

by apprentice on Dec 15, 2010

Warming up the towels in the dryer? I love a warm towel as much as the next girl, but, honestly? How exactly are you going to get the towel to the guest without it going cold...? awkward...

by asheskayp on Jan 14, 2011

@lserwer I am with you. Although we do have a small spare room it is literally just big enough for an air mattress and maybe a suitcase. I've read several articles in other areas of this site pertaining to 1 bedroom homes, why entertaining guests be limited to people with larger homes?

by provin222 on May 25, 2011

I think leaving food, preferably their favorite snacks out is nice and it doesn't have to be in their room just put it on the kitchen counter so they feel comfortable with things set out for them and special because you thought of them!

by chpotts on Jul 03, 2011

I would hope if someone is staying over night or for a few days you would know them well enough for some of these things to not be necessary... Chinese take out? And food on the dresser? A few of these are a bit ridiculous.

by Becca Bear on Aug 01, 2011

What do I do run a b&b?! This is ridiculously entertaining. Cookies in a canister on the bureau? Minibar? Scented soaps? WARM towels. This is beyond funny.

by scournoyer418 on Oct 01, 2011