Of course, it’s important to pay attention to each other, but it’s also a really good idea to pay attention to yourself.

Notice those little moments in the day when you feel a twinge of arousal and learn from it. Were you watching something sexy on TV? Had you gone to the gym that day and are feeling surprisingly hot? Was it something you ate? By learning a few triggers, you are arming yourself with a some great ammo to help get yourself in the mood no matter how big a report you have due that week or which of your kids kicked the lunch lady.

Nestperts: Joselin Linder and Elena Donovan Mauer, authors of Have Sex Like You Just Met (Adams Media, December). Read more at their blog.

-- Joselin Linder & Elena Donovan Mauer

See More: 30 days to great sex , Love & Sex