Take your relationship from simmerin' to smokin' with these tips. 1. Flirt like it’s your first night together.
Think back to those early days of dating. Every laugh, lingering look, or under-the-table leg brush was a guaranteed goose bump-giver. Well, you can turn back the clock to that supercharged state by making a simple shift: Start flirting again. If you’re at a party, slink away, get a couple of drinks, and flirtatiously introduce yourself like you’re strangers. It may take him a second to catch on, but once he does, it’ll set a sexier tone for the rest of the night -- and remind you both that there’s still a lot to discover about each other.2. Make your significant other do a double-take.
That’s one of the brilliant things about being a couple -- being so at ease in each other’s company. But there’s a line between being comfortable and letting yourselves go. (Hint: If you frequently show up to the dinner table in sweaty gym gear or go to bed with zit cream and prickly cactus legs, you’re guilty as charged.) Break out that lingerie crammed in the back of your drawer. Wear something backless. Shave and put on a nicer shirt than usual when you go out to dinner. It’s about showing your significant other that they’re still worth looking sexy for.3. Try something new (channel surfing doesn’t count).
You love your routine, so why mess? Well, shaking things up every once in a while keeps the zsa-zsa-zsu in your relationship. According to a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology
, couples who participated in activities that they both considered highly exciting but moderately pleasant had a bigger
boost in satisfaction than those who did activities that were highly pleasant but moderately exciting. Check out a concert you’d never think to get tickets for, or explore a totally different part of town. The adrenaline rush will be an aphrodisiac.
4. Pounce…even when you’re not in the mood.
Skipping the most intimate act you two could possibly enjoy together, you’re not doing your relationship any favors. Here’s why: Intercourse and orgasms trigger oxytocin, the “love hormone,” to be released in your bodies, which makes you feel incredibly fused as a couple. Sex is also the gift that keeps on giving: The more you do it, the more you’ll want to do it, so it actually stokes desire. So set that alarm clock a little earlier for wake-up action, and put down that pint of mocha pecan postdinner and enjoy another kind of bedroom treat (better yet, bring in the ice cream too). You don’t need Olympic-level performances -- just enough enthusiasm to get that mojo going.
Nestpert Patti Britton, PhD, certified sex therapist and author of The Idiot’s Guide to Sensual Massage