Keep your relationship on the right track by avoiding these common pitfalls.
Mistake #1: Not Dealing with Debt
Newsflash: Money is the #1 thing couples fight about. Fess up about your personal debt -- because for better or worse -- and then set up a financial game plan with our
budgeter.
Mistake #2: Alienating Your Friends
Friends are key for a successful marriage, so tag along on those girl's nights out. Just because you're not guy-hunting doesn't mean you can't be a supportive wingwoman.
Mistake #3: Not Having Enough Sex
Over 60 percent of newlyweds we surveyed were already in a sex rut! Yeah you're busy, but that's not a good enough excuse
not to get busy. Initiate sex, even if you don't feel like it or have to schedule it. If you get in the habit of having it, you'll start wanting it (and liking it) more.
Mistake #4: Letting Yourself Go
So you put on the "newlywed nine." Big whup...you've already found your mate, right? Wrong! Make a plan to
get fit together or at least respect each other's goals.
Mistake #5: Out-lawing the In-laws
Fifty percent of couples we surveyed have a problematic relationship with their in-laws (ya think?). Manage expectations, like saying you'll call on Sundays so his mom doesn't guilt-trip you for ignoring her weekday messages. Even if your spouse is bitching about his family, resist the urge to chime in. It'll bite you in the butt later.
Mistake #6: Crazy Fighting
Getting hitched isn't a free pass to hit below the belt (sorry!). When you're getting really heated, walk away to cool down for a few minutes.
Mistake #7: Becoming Baby-Obsessed
It's easy to fixate on that next big step, but chill out -- the average couple has a kid within three years of marriage. So really, why rush? Savor the moments (and vacations you can take!) now...when you won't have to be waking up for a brutal 4 a.m. feeding.
-- The Nest Editors
See More: Couple Issues
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beu4me06
Put on the calendar a date night.
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tiffj44
I totally agree with this especially Mistake #4 because after getting married it seems sooo easy to be lazy. Also Mistake #6 is easier to get into especially if you haven't lived together. Good rules to follow.
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dawncroff
I actually laughed at #4...I lost 20 pounds before our wedding (which was in May) now it's October 2nd and I've gained 10 pounds back!!! I need to get this off pronto! (I'm already getting asked the "When are you going to have a baby?" question constantly I don't want people to actually think I AM pregnant LOL!)
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FutureBrum
What a great article. I particularly like #4. Before our wedding we were in great shape, looked and felt great! We have been married for one year and we put all the weight we lost back on! So we recently made a plan to commit to be fit together and not get so comfy with each other. I think it is so important to keep yourself up , espcially for wives. Men are very visual and even though they may not say it they do want thier wives to look thier best! So my goal, to look my best for my hubby. An added bonus is, you will feel good about yourself!
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withmike
We have crazy fighting and it seems like it happens once a week on the same day! I just dont know what to do to stop it. I feel like I try to do everything right but still we get into some type of disagreement. I really dont know what to do but at this moment Im not very happy.
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crashbaptiste
For no no #2, we are spoiled. My matron-of-honor got married the weekend before we did and we get to have date night with them fairly often. In addition to being my MOH, she's been my best friend since 4th grade, we started dating our future hubby's two weeks apart, and graduated from college in '08 sitting next to each other doing MadLibs during the speeches. We completely understood each other when it came to rants about wedding planning and boys where our single friends would think we were just whining. I luff her :D
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willils09
I so love the No-No's.... i have been married for 4 months and I need that constant reminder because its so easy to fall in the trap of not wanting to. It really takes some large adustments after marriage... I love it though...
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Quetzyqg
Wow this is so true I feel like this was written for me (well except #7 because we already have a baby). Thanks for reminding me of the No-nO's :)
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snakey1219
We have been married only 7 months and people are asking us when we're having kids! We love our time together and try to have date night once a week, even if that just means going out for coffee and sitting on a bench people-watching. It gets us out of the house at least!
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kwp31
Invite people over! Your single friends can forget that you're the same people you were when you were just engaged! Your friends (and your spouse's friends) are VERY important when you're having problems because you can't vent about everything always to your spouse. (Really, my husband doesn't need to hear my jokes about his snoring and I don't need to be reminded that my pajamas are uglier than an ogre.) The easiest way to be sick of one another is if you ONLY have one another.
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