how to: deal with issues

Every marriage is bound to encounter a few bumps along the road, especially when you're first starting out. We're here to help you out with solutions to couples issues and common newlywed arguments. First, find out about the tried-and-true stuff your parents probably wish they'd known. We've sorted out the newlywed "rules" you can ignore from the relationship mistakes you need to avoid. Learn the right way to handle a fight and the solutions to the most common newlywed arguments. We've also got help for couples issues that are specific to the modern marriage. For example, the four rules of Facebook for couples, how to deal when you're married to a metrosexual, and handling coworker crushes. You can also read our expert Q&A for dealing with all kinds of couples issues. Find tips on making friends as a couple, managing work stress as a pair, and avoiding common newlywed arguments about stuff like cleaning and entertaining. We'll help you solve issues with everyone -- your honey, your couple friends, your in-laws -- and find solutions that work in every part of your life, from the bedroom to the office. From whether it's okay to tell friends about your issues to breaking out of a sex rut, we've got you covered. And don't forget your fellow Nesties! We've pulled together lists of real couple gripes and likes, Nesties' marriage secrets, and their most ridiculous fights -- you're sure to relate to something! Or find even more sympathetic ears with our relationships message board.

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How Do Your Signs Work Together?

Aries & Aries
You're both competitive, high-spirited, and at your best when you're working toward a common goal. When life is too low-key, you two get bored, so make sure you're always seeking challenges!

Aries & Taurus
Aries is impulsive and needs a lot of stimulation while Taurus is cautious and peace-loving, but somehow the chemistry is complementary. Don't bother trying to "meet in the middle;" go to extremes with each other.

Aries & Gemini
Aries is action-oriented and blunt while Gemini is cerebral and subtle. The sexual chemistry is strongest when Aries does the chasing and Gemini prolongs the ecstasy with some verbal foreplay.

Aries & Cancer
When you two fight, you can be a tad ferocious, but the fiery chemistry makes the making up 10 times as fierce. Both share a love of adventure and a desire to raise a family of independent-minded kids.

Aries & Leo
You both love being in the public eye and getting lots of attention. Your specialty as a couple is the PDA! Just chilling without an audience may be the challenge in this relationship. Perhaps put up more mirrors in your home?!

Aries & Virgo
You're both very direct about what you're feeling, which makes communication quite advanced. You never have to worry about resentments building. Sexually, Virgo revels in the details; Aries handles the animal passion.

Aries & Libra
Opposites really do attract! Aries is a powerhouse of a personality, forceful, and goal-oriented, while Libra is all about being subtle and in the moment. Romantically, sparks really fly as each recognizes the missing half in the other.

Aries & Scorpio
You make a great team as you're both driven to succeed and to live well. Aries is a sprinter while Scorpio's specialty is the long-distance marathon. Compromise is key to setting the right pace in this relationship.

Aries & Sagittarius
You both love wild adventures and talking late into the night. Once you're domesticated, you still need to find ways to live like teenagers -- at least once a week! Don't ever let yourselves grow up.

Aries & Capricorn
Aries is easily excited while Capricorn has more of a slow burn. But when you two make eye contact, the sparks definitely fly. No one can figure out what draws you together -- even you two -- but somehow it works. You're both deliciously possessive of each other.

Aries & Aquarius
Your ability to laugh with (and sometimes at!) each other is what holds this upbeat union together. The friendship aspect is strong and so is the sexual chemistry. You're both willing to try anything once.

Aries & Pisces
You're fiercely loyal to each other and have a very insular, enigmatic relationship that's very different in private than in public. On the outside, you appear so respectable! But behind closed doors, you share a wild streak.

Taurus & Taurus
You two know how to live well together and love well together because your values and your physical chemistry are so in sync. But when you disagree, neither of you gives in! Flip a coin already!!

Taurus & Gemini
Gemini makes gentle fun of Taurus, and Taurus is oblivious. All Taurus cares about is how good the sex is and how happy their life is. The details are unimportant. Gemini would be lost without Taurus and knows it. An unlikely pair that works beautifully.

Taurus & Cancer
The homiest pair of all. Both need to live in lovely surroundings and have a solid domestic life; both are incredibly affectionate. The challenge is breaking out of your routine once in awhile. Be spontaneous. Go out dancing together...now! Don't plan it: now!

Taurus & Leo
Taurus loves luxury and so does Leo, though Taurus is apt to spend less on the good things in life while Leo is a spendthrift! Romantically, you two have absolutely royal chemistry. Luxurious hours spent in the bedroom...priceless.

Taurus & Virgo
Taurus moves more slowly than Virgo, but if Virgo can develop some patience (and if Taurus can speed it up a bit!), you two can have a fabulous time together -- in the moment and for years to come. You have a lot in common and your interests as a couple keep growing.

Taurus & Libra
Harmony- and beauty-loving Venus rules both your signs, so finding pleasure together is as easy as pie...a la mode. You're both into low-key decadence (good restaurants, weekends away) but when it's time to pay the bills, Taurus is the one who takes care of business.

Taurus & Scorpio
A passionate combo! Taurus is highly sensual, and Scorpio is highly sexual, so together the sparks are bound to fly. Both can be stubborn and controlling though, so make an effort to play nice when you're outside the bedroom. Luckily, your deep attraction will motivate you to do so.

Taurus & Sagittarius
You both share an earthy sense of humor and an earthy sensibility. Time spent outdoors is time well-spent. Sagittarius brings out Taurus' latent athletic streak. Taurus entices Sag to spend more time at home -- going to first base and beyond.

Taurus & Capricorn
You two share an incredibly similar sense of humor and sense of playfulness. At the same time, you both share the same attitudes about money and material things. An easy union -- though when tensions do mount, that great humor can turn to edgy sarcasm. Tone it down!

Taurus & Aquarius
You two are the original odd couple. It's like you speak two completely different languages, yet somehow you can finish each other's sentences and live together in bliss. This is a unique and amazing relationship that you simply just must make up as you go along. 

Taurus & Pisces
This is a smooth and groovy relationship -- fine and mellow like a good wine. The only challenge is to liven it up sometimes. Pisces is good at surprising Taurus with spontaneous sexy notes and come-ons, and Taurus is an expert at the occasional (but memorable!) grand gesture. Use those talents, people!

Gemini & Gemini
This relationship is a real chat-fest. Even in the sack, you two speak in foreign tongues just to amuse and entice each other. You're so compatible you could spend all your time together -- so please don't! Each Gemini needs space, even if you don't always realize it. Take a day off from each other every week (so to speak).

Gemini & Cancer
Gemini is a talker and Cancer is a listener, but occasionally you two need to change roles. Communication is a challenge, but living together day to day is a pleasure. Gemini keeps Cancer feeling upbeat, and Cancer makes Gemini feel safe.

Gemini & Leo
The attraction between you is palpable. Gemini loves to worship Leo and Leo loves to be worshipped! But really, it's Leo who would do anything for Gemini. Gemini needs help believing in "forever," but Leo has enough faith for the both of them.

Gemini & Virgo
Both signs are ruled by Mercury -- the planet of communication -- so conversation (both deep and ditzy!) is a breeze. You share a specific kind of nervous energy and should do some stress-relieving activities together and separately to relax. Plenty of sex (and post-sex naps) should help...

Gemini & Libra
You share a great meeting of the minds, though both of you do insist on being right a little too often! Gemini needs more space than Libra, who likes to be lovey-dovey all the time. But when Libra acts elusive, Gemini comes running!

Gemini & Scorpio
You two love to play cat-and-mouse with each other, but who's the mouse?? Verbal foreplay helps to make sex great. And after the loving, you're still in love...because you have so much fun together. Each just needs to watch a tendency toward extreme sarcasm.

Gemini & Sagittarius
You two are magnetically drawn to each other. Even when you're fighting, you're still flirting. This is a highly compatible union, but it also includes much bickering. You both like to push the other's buttons in a benign way. Humor keeps you together.

Gemini & Capricorn
Gemini can be ditzy, and Capricorn somber, but together you get the balance right. Gemini can help Capricorn be more social while Capricorn teaches Gemini to be more responsible. Each one knows how to stay pleasingly mysterious to the other.

Gemini & Aquarius
A deep feeling of friendship underlies this relationship. Both of you know how to communicate, and you share many common interests. The challenge is to occasionally inject some fire into this easy breezy relationship. Luckily Gemini is mischievous, and Aquarius is incredibly original. Surprise each other!

Gemini & Pisces
You two share a soulful connection that goes beyond words. Pisces gives Gemini a feeling of being understood, and Gemini helps Pisces to lighten up and have fun. Both can be very changeable though -- which keeps the relationship unpredictable enough to be exciting!

Cancer & Cancer
Both of you are cuddly and nurturing, but you also share a tendency to bicker when you don't get your way. Know that your touch communicates much more than a tense word. Kill each other with kindness.

Cancer & Leo
Both signs thrive in a luxurious home environment and are happiest staying in bed (on 350 thread count sheets!) for days. When reality sets in, the question that must be answered is: Who's the boss?

Cancer & Virgo
Both share a love of the outdoors and gardening, but Cancer likes to get cozy inside the house more than Virgo does. Cancer can turn on some seductive charms to lure Virgo back indoors.

Cancer & Libra
Cancer needs lots of reassurance about long-term security while Libra needs reassurance about matters of attractiveness. Give each other what you need! You two share a subtle sense of humor and a sizzling sensuality.

Cancer & Scorpio
You two water signs really know how to do romance and to make a home together. This is a very compatible union. Sometimes Scorpio can bully Cancer, so Cancer shouldn't be afraid to push back! Both of you are extremely sensitive and are nurturing to each other and to your loved ones.

Cancer & Sagittarius
Over-the-top expressions of affection are the foundation upon which this loving union was built, and that's what keeps the romance alive. Sag can be oblivious and Cancer can nag, but each puts the other on a pedestal -- at the end of each sweet day, that's all that matters.

Cancer & Capricorn
Cancer is nurturing while Capricorn believes in tough love, but you two opposites can learn a lot from each other about balance. You both love kids and a nice quality of life. You're both also incredibly sexually drawn to the other!

Cancer & Aquarius
A miracle match, even though you two couldn't seem more different. You two really "get" each other and could live together on a deserted island and be happy. However, Aquarius needs lots of friends, and Cancer needs lots of family, so bring your loved ones into your wonderful world.

Cancer & Pisces
You two water signs can live in an absolute dream world together. Cancer loves to create an ideal home, and Pisces fills that home with soul. Pisces can be mysterious and needs to be drawn out by Cancer. Your mutual love of food and books (and TLC) keep you hooked on each other.

Leo & Leo
A bigger-than-life combination! You two have incredibly vivid personalities. Each of you needs the spotlight all the time, and neither of you likes to share. Still, as long as you each give the other unadulterated worship (Leo's greatest desire), this union will be over-the-top glorious!

Leo & Virgo
Leo likes to be the center of attention, and Virgo enjoys (and is often wryly amused by) Leo's show-off tendencies. Once in awhile, Leo will share the spotlight and be blown away by Virgo's brilliant wit and sexy understated charm. You two will continually be surprised by each other.

Leo & Libra
Both are die-hard romantics who will do anything for love. Leo is a fan of the grand gesture (surprise vacations) while Libra prefers more subtle forms of seduction -- like spreading rose petals throughout the bedroom. You two love acting like you're characters in a love story. And you are!

Leo & Scorpio
You two make a dramatic and highly passionate combo. Both of you know how to make a scene! Emotions run high and so does desire. Scorpio needs to be a little less secretive, Leo needs to talk less, and both need to relax as often as possible. Loyalty runs deep.

Leo & Sagittarius
You both love to have fun, fun, fun, but by 1 a.m., Leo is ready to pull the plug and say "time for sleep" while Sag may still want to party. You two are at your best when you're being wild in public. At home, bedroom antics are a treat, but you may differ in your domestic habits.

Leo & Capricorn
Each of you is extremely proud, and together you're proud of each other and complement (and compliment) each other well. Leo must be in the star role, and Capricorn likes to play director. Overall, this relationship is theatrical yet grounded.

Leo & Aquarius
Leo is warm and passionate while Aquarius keeps feelings on a slow burn (but definitely feels a lot for Leo). In this relationship, you each accept each other for who you are. Aquarius builds Leo's ego and Leo brings Aquarius a feeling of intimacy. A perfect (and equal) trade.

Leo & Pisces
This is a dreamy and romantic combo. Pisces likes to surprise Leo with sexy spontaneity. Leo likes to treat Pisces to extravagant gifts. Both are experts in the art of sensual massage. Sometimes dealing with money is an issue, but you can trade off -- for one month, one of you is practical; the next month the other is.

Virgo & Virgo
Each Virgo needs a particular area to fuss over. You're both obsessive and enjoy making "little improvements" -- in your home, in yourselves, and in your relationship. Luckily, that attention to detail makes your bedroom antics fantastic and long lasting.

Virgo & Libra
Virgo likes to work hard while Libra appreciates a life of luxury, yet somehow they can meet in the middle. Great communication makes this a fascinating relationship. Both love to get inside each other's brains. And all that stimulating talk leads to even more stimulating action in the bedroom!

Virgo & Scorpio
You two riff off each other beautifully. You can finish each other's sentences...and add some sexy verbal twists while you're at it. Both of you are critical and can be sarcastic, but that only adds spice to your dynamic. You two make a charismatic couple!

Virgo & Sagittarius
Virgo is a worrier and Sag loves chaos -- but you two can learn a lot from your opposing styles. Sag actually appreciates Virgo's attempt to teach manners, and Virgo knows that spending time with Sag will lead to some much needed loosening up!

Virgo & Capricorn
A smooth and groovy mix. You two earth signs have the same values, the same sex drive, and the same sense of humor. Both of you can be workaholics though, so don't forget how much good stuff you've got waiting at home, okay?

Virgo & Aquarius
You two have a real meeting of the minds that spills over into the bedroom. Your sexual chemistry is just as strong as your verbal repartee. But living together can be challenging since Virgo is so neat and Aquarius enjoys a methodical mess. Hire a housekeeper or get a place with a lot of space!

Virgo & Pisces
Virgo likes to take care of Pisces' body, and Pisces likes to tend to Virgo's heart. Both are obsessed with pleasing the other and often spend days figuring out ways to make the other happy. Just make sure to take enough space for yourselves so you don't get sick of each other.

Libra & Libra
You two are super romantic and love to spend lots of time together. You're the ultimate couple -- common interests, hand-holding, plans for the future. Your only job is to stop nauseating your friends with your hot, hot love!

Libra & Scorpio
Libra loves Scorpio's direct and sexy style, and Scorpio loves chasing elusive Libra. You two enjoy a good game of cat-and-mouse but are open to changing roles -- just when the other least expects it. You two will always remain a mystery to each other.

Libra & Sagittarius
Libra loves to go on dates while Sagittarius hates anything contrived. Yet even though these two have different ideas about romance, their sense of fun, friendship, and old-school friskiness keep things hot and humorous -- all the time.

Libra & Capricorn
Capricorn is serious about everything, while Libra is serious about only one thing: love! Libra's job may be to help Capricorn to lighten up while Capricorn can help Libra to develop some career ambition. You two make a great team.

Libra & Aquarius
Libra loves to go out as a couple; Aquarius likes to invite a bunch of friends. You can do both -- just alternate nights! This is a very social relationship as well as a very productive one. You two not only make good lovers, but good business partners. The sky's the limit. Whatever you put your minds (and bodies) to will be a success.

Libra & Pisces
This relationship has soul. Pisces sees beneath the surface of Libra's perfect facade and can sense the vulnerability beneath. Libra can see Pisces' gentle nature but senses the strength underneath. The intuition between you two is uncanny and highly romantic.

Scorpio & Scorpio
This combination sizzles with sexual desire, and that fabulous chemistry spills over into every other aspect of the relationship -- and so does the friction. Fights between two Scorps can be verbal minefields. Make a vow to play nice!

Scorpio & Sagittarius
Scorpio and Sag can talk and laugh and argue and laugh all day, and then do it again all night. These two never get sick of each other -- until each suddenly needs massive time alone! So take it; a cycle of togetherness can be offset by a couple of days of doing your own things. Then get back to the intense togetherness.

Scorpio & Capricorn
There's an earthy and deep connection between these two generally serious signs. And each brings out the other's sense of humor -- in spades. Capricorn loves a dirty joke, and Scorpio likes to play mischievous games. You two know how to have fun and how to get your work done. A balanced combo.

Scorpio & Aquarius
You two highly individualistic characters know how to please each other -- and how to push each other's buttons. Scorpio likes to indulge Aquarius's wild ideas and hobbies; Aquarius likes to encourage Scorpio's ambitious plans. Romantically, the chemistry is always unpredictable, which always makes it exciting!

Scorpio & Pisces
Scorpio encourages Pisces' dreams and Pisces believes that Scorpio can do anything. You two are each other's cheerleaders and secret admirers all wrapped up into one. Scorpio can be a little dominating though, so Pisces needs to express more opinions.

Sagittarius & Sagittarius
Both of you have a wild side that can't be tamed! The beauty of this relationship lies in the fact that neither of you will ever fully grow up, and the couple that plays together, stays together!

Sagittarius & Capricorn
Both of you share an earthy sense of humor and love to argue politics, religion, art -- everything. You may disagree a lot but you agree on one thing: You're crazy about each other. Mutual respect is the key to this union.

Sagittarius & Aquarius
You two share so many common interests and have a such a strong friendship that being lovers is easy. Of course, it's up to each of you to keep the romance alive. Go out on more sexy dates, see each other through new eyes, and then you'll want to see more of each other...

Sagittarius & Pisces
Sag is an active outdoorsy type, and Pisces needs more quiet time alone, but when you both share is a generosity of spirit and a belief in your love. You two can overcome small differences in style just by looking into each other's eyes and realizing how lucky you are to have found each other. There's magic here.

Capricorn & Capricorn
Work is what you two bond with. You both have a strong work ethic and are ambitious about your careers. But by night it's all about having fun. You know how to play (together) just as hard as you work. But watch the occasional tendency towards pessimism. You have every reason to believe in your love.

Capricorn & Aquarius
Capricorn is earthy and Aquarius is more cerebral, but you love to be around each other and to learn from each other. Capricorn can show distracted Aquarius how to find the bottom line, and Aquarius can help melancholy Capricorn from hitting bottom. You two make great lovers and great allies.

Capricorn & Pisces
Pisces has an intuitive understanding of the sensitive person beneath Capricorn's tough veneer, and Capricorn can see the worrier beneath Pisces' calm exterior. You're both ultraprotective of each other -- and ultralusty. Romance gets wilder as your emotional connection grows deeper.

Aquarius & Aquarius
Each of you is a true original. You're strong individuals who function together as a great team. You're turned on to each other's minds and turned off by conventional rules others try to impose on your relationship. Create your own kind of brilliant outside the romance box!

Aquarius & Pisces
You two like each other -- you really like each other -- which makes it easy for you to love each other passionately. Aquarius accepts Pisces without judgment, and this makes Pisces feel free enough to shower Aquarius with affection.

Pisces & Pisces
You two live in a fantasy world -- and it's a truly amazing place to reside. You're actually able to make your dreams come true in reality by egging each other on. You bring out each other's strengths and help each other to move past your weaknesses.

Compatibility compiled by AstroJill. For charts and consulations, contact her at [email protected]


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