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Nesties' Marriage Secrets

"If you're arguing with your spouse over how to do a task, just remember that the results won't matter in one day, one week, one month, or one year. Chill out." -- LorieA

"Don't forget to keep 'dating' after you're married. Getting all dolled up and going out on the town, sneaking kisses in the movie theater -- these help keep things exciting!" -- Kauline

"Don't complain or talk badly about your husband to your friends, parents, or siblings. You'll forgive him long before they do, and you risk having your relationship judged or commented on by others. If you have to get it out, write in a journal." -- TheBrowns

"Don't think that there won't be any problems after the wedding. Talk about what you're feeling and don't try to hide your problems from your spouse -- they'll only explode later on." -- Transparence

"Sleep naked!" -- Tracy&Steve  

"Always remember you don't own your spouse -- your spouse is a gift, not a possession." -- MDwifey

"Be the bigger person -- be the first to apologize. I personally struggle with this. I don't want to be the first to say sorry! But marriage is more important than our own little self-interests, so I try." -- Kyleigh

"Nobody is perfect, not even you. When he forgets something important or messes up; you could eventually do that too. And when you do, youll hope he won't hold it over your head for the next 50 years!" -- Goldenmama

"You need to be willing to make more than 50 percent of the effort nearly all of the time. Don’t be territorial about things, like who changes the toilet paper roll. If each partner puts in what he or she perceives as more than half the effort, things will work pretty well." -- LucyMax

>> Share your own married words of wisdom

-- The Nest Editors

Feb 16, 2009

See More: Couple Issues , Love & Sex

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I was once told: Marriage isn't 50/50 or 100/100, its 60/40 with both people trying to be the 60. Share and talk.

by Tootlez on Oct 26, 2008

Always aim to make one another, not yourselves. If you're both making the other happy, then you're both happy.

by poovey1123 on Apr 07, 2009

do your best not to go to bed angry, any night.

by kitkatvt on Jun 17, 2009

I always hear people advise you not to go to bed angry, and I think that's terrible advice. Sometimes you both need to step away from a situation and decompress, sleep on it, even, before you can tackle it in a constructive manner. If you have a fight at night, chances are you're both tired & aren't thinking as clearly as you could/should.

by haribo43 on Jun 17, 2009

Talk about everything!

by Mxt_Qt on Jun 17, 2009

My step-father in law gave us this sage advice: "If you get in an argument and you don't know how to get out, but you know it needs to end...get naked. There is no way you can continue arguing when at least one of you is standing there in the nude"...seems to work for the in-laws.

by Swordman5000sWoman on Jun 17, 2009

Remember that love is commitment not just the warm fuzzy feelings you have.

by mother of Ryan on Jun 18, 2009

Take lots of opportunities to build each other up--especially after your spouse has had some things to discourage him/her. Compliment each other and show your admiration for each other.

by malikajohn on Jun 18, 2009

My mom told me to make sure you have sex 1-2 times a week(more would be recommended) and your relationship will be alot closer. I have to agree with this because i can tell a difference when we are having sex all the time and when we are in a rut. The more frequent the less arguments and the more he does for me!

by kimber2008 on Jul 30, 2009

Try to out-love each other.

by bowlingm on Mar 03, 2010

Try to out-love each other.

by bowlingm on Mar 03, 2010

Try to out-love each other.

by bowlingm on Mar 03, 2010

Never go to bed angry, and always kiss goodnight. Marriage is not a walk in the park, it's a rollercoaster, with twist & turns, fun & laughter, and all together a adventure you will never forget.

by alli.pooper@gmail.com on Aug 02, 2010

When I want to discuss something with my hubby, such as doing the dishes or picking up his garbage, I find its best to hold his hand when I bring it up. I know it sounds funny, but its hard to argue when you're holding hands!

by AmyTrep on Aug 07, 2010

Remember what's important. Sometimes we get caught up on the less important things like buying a house, or a stressful job, or bills. Remember they are the most important thing in your life and your life wouldn't be wonderful without them.

by Ibliss on Sep 14, 2010

In response to kimber2008, I want to say that I wish I could have sex 1 -2 times a week with my spouse. He won't have sex with me and hasn't wanted it for the last 4 1/2 years of out 5 years of our marriage. Prior to our marriage, he said that he loved having passionate sex and only about six months into the marriage, he no longer wanted sex. We went to counseling and found out that he had been molested by a relative as a young boy for several years. After 1 1/2 years of counseling, there was still no sex. I asked quite frequently but was turned down every time. The recession hit, and we had to quit counseling. I'm extremely sad and feel stuck although I love my husband.

by alliemax1121 on Dec 12, 2010

Alliemax1121-I am really sorry about that. Have you tried being intimate in other ways. maybe cuddling, or holding hands, putting your arms around each other. I know it isn't the same as sex, but maybe the physical contact may help both of you.

by melsand2010 on Dec 15, 2010

It doesn't hurt to go to bed angry. It might suck trying to fall asleep, but after that full night's sleep, some things just seem ridiculous in the morning light.

by mklanich on Jan 18, 2011

mom always told me never go to bed angry... she didnt follow her advice but i sure am...

by rccarlover71089 on Mar 17, 2011

Some great ideas! As a newlywed wife, I'm blogging about our adventures. Check it out if you're interested! http://thenewlywedwife.wordpress.com

by happygirlbride on Sep 21, 2011