We've all been there...we've told a little white lie to ensure our continued “survival.” These fibs have been highlighted in sitcoms and movies with cliche lines like, “No, honey, those pants don't make your butt look big,” and “Sure, I like your best friend’s husband -- I think we should always have to chest-bump as a form of greeting in this country!” (The latter line, of course, is said by a scrawny guy who can't handle chest bumps.)
A new article in The Wall Street Journal says that these little fibs may actually be necessary for the survival of your relationship. Why? Little lies protect your partner’s ego or feelings and may help avoid unnecessary conflict. The author of the article interviewed a psychologist who said, “It's a matter of survival. If you don't fib, you don't live.” But is a conflict-free existence really worth, well, lying all the time?
Take my friend, Molly*, for example. She manages events for a museum in New York City, and schmoozing with patrons is part of her job. And what does schmoozing often involve? Drinking a glass or two of wine. Yet for some reason, Molly feels compelled to hide it from her husband whenever she’s been out for the perfunctory schmooze-glass or two. When pressed, she said she doesn’t know why she tells him she hasn’t been drinking, even when she has. They’ve discussed drinking numerous times, and neither of them minds in the slightest when one of them goes out and drinks (in moderation, of course) without the other one present. So all Molly really ends up with is a guilty conscience, a confused husband (he can smell the alcohol, after all), and a mild hangover.
You tell us, Nesties: Is lying to your spouse necessary (keep in mind we’re talking small, white lies here)? Is it ever worth it? Share in the comments!
*Name has been changed
See More: Couple Issues , Love & Sex