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how to: deal with issues

Every marriage is bound to encounter a few bumps along the road, especially when you're first starting out. We're here to help you out with solutions to couples issues and common newlywed arguments. First, find out about the tried-and-true stuff your parents probably wish they'd known. We've sorted out the newlywed "rules" you can ignore from the relationship mistakes you need to avoid. Learn the right way to handle a fight and the solutions to the most common newlywed arguments. We've also got help for couples issues that are specific to the modern marriage. For example, the four rules of Facebook for couples, how to deal when you're married to a metrosexual, and handling coworker crushes. You can also read our expert Q&A for dealing with all kinds of couples issues. Find tips on making friends as a couple, managing work stress as a pair, and avoiding common newlywed arguments about stuff like cleaning and entertaining. We'll help you solve issues with everyone -- your honey, your couple friends, your in-laws -- and find solutions that work in every part of your life, from the bedroom to the office. From whether it's okay to tell friends about your issues to breaking out of a sex rut, we've got you covered. And don't forget your fellow Nesties! We've pulled together lists of real couple gripes and likes, Nesties' marriage secrets, and their most ridiculous fights -- you're sure to relate to something! Or find even more sympathetic ears with our relationships message board.

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Chill Out, Already!


1. You'd never forget your workout or road-trip mix on your MP3 player, but what about a chillout playlist? Make one pronto and play it for a few minutes when you're uptight. Bonus points if you make one for your spouse with their fave tunes, and surprise them with it when they're wound up tighter than a stress-ball.

2. Sit or lie in a comfortable position together -- whether it's on the lawn or on your bed, breathe deeply from your abdomen, count to five, and then exhale. As you inhale again, imagine that you're pulling strength into your body and that all that crap (your MIL, your annoying boss, your student loan bill) is being forced out when you exhale. Try doing this for five minutes twice a day, or whenever you feel, well, like ripping your hair out.

3. Visualize your honeymoon. Yep, that week or so of bliss where the only thing on your brain was whether to another pomegranate margarita. Close your eyes and visualize the two of you on a beach, listening to the waves coming in, feeling the warm sun and breeze on your back. Okay, it may be a rude awakening when you open your eyes again and realize you don't have an infinity pool in front of you, but letting your imagination wander for a few mintues will transport you to a more tranquil state.

4. Weather nice out? Stop what you're doing (yep, that memo can wait) and take a brisk walk for 10 or 15 minutes. You'll be clearheaded and alert...and that annoying coworker will bug you ten times less.

5. Make a point of taking 20 to 30 minutes out of each day to do whatever the hell you want, from window shopping to reading gossip blogs to just people-watching with your latte. Pampering yourself doesn't have to equal a fancy mani-pedi or fishing trip -- giving yourself little time-outs every day can be an even bigger stress-buster.
Get more relationship advice from the experts.

-- Grace Jidoun

See More: Couple Issues , Love & Sex