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how to: deal with issues

Every marriage is bound to encounter a few bumps along the road, especially when you're first starting out. We're here to help you out with solutions to couples issues and common newlywed arguments. First, find out about the tried-and-true stuff your parents probably wish they'd known. We've sorted out the newlywed "rules" you can ignore from the relationship mistakes you need to avoid. Learn the right way to handle a fight and the solutions to the most common newlywed arguments. We've also got help for couples issues that are specific to the modern marriage. For example, the four rules of Facebook for couples, how to deal when you're married to a metrosexual, and handling coworker crushes. You can also read our expert Q&A for dealing with all kinds of couples issues. Find tips on making friends as a couple, managing work stress as a pair, and avoiding common newlywed arguments about stuff like cleaning and entertaining. We'll help you solve issues with everyone -- your honey, your couple friends, your in-laws -- and find solutions that work in every part of your life, from the bedroom to the office. From whether it's okay to tell friends about your issues to breaking out of a sex rut, we've got you covered. And don't forget your fellow Nesties! We've pulled together lists of real couple gripes and likes, Nesties' marriage secrets, and their most ridiculous fights -- you're sure to relate to something! Or find even more sympathetic ears with our relationships message board.

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How to Handle Annoying People (Together)

1. The House Crasher

A college buddy comes to town and needs to bunk at your place, leaving you with zero time alone.

S.O.S. strategy: Discuss how long the visit can be and what you expect from your guest (help with dinner, cleaning up). Then lay down the law with your crasher. During the visit, be your normal selves and get couple time in -- even if you do have an on-looker. Cooking together, taking walks after dinner, calling each other by your nicknames -- it'll help you feel like your life wasn't rudely interrupted. Go out alone too. Just let your guest know -- so um, he doesn't have dinner waiting!

2. The Meddling In-law

Your mate's mom calls almost every night and is trying to plan yet another visit -- even though she just saw you!

S.O.S. strategy: The spouse with the closest bloodline does the dirty work. You each need to establish boundaries with your own moms while agreeing to meet up every month or so. This will let you grow stronger as a couple without dissing your families. And the next time you're waiting for take-out or flipping channels, give the mother-in-law a call or send an email. By having more brief interactions, she might lay off a little more.

3. The Uber-Demanding Boss

Your boss is constantly piling on more work, stressing you out and keeping you at the office so late you're like, "spouse, who?"

S.O.S. strategy: You may have figured out already that you'll never be able to change your boss. So if you choose to stay in this field -- or office -- you can only tweak your habits to have a better life at home. Discuss your job duties with your spouse so it doesn't become a fight every time you come home past dinner. Then cut all the personal stuff that you do at work. Turn off IM and stop sending friends tweets about the college reunion. When you do get home, make it one-on-one time.

4. The A-Listers

You know who we're talking about: The couple across the street who has the perfect everything -- car, house, relationship, social life -- blah, blah, blah...

S.O.S. strategy: Every time you feel envy building, remember: The grass in their yard is only greener because you can't see over their fence. So next time you want to rant at your mate for not pampering you like your princess neighbor is, focus on your couple strengths. Then do something to build on that. You love to laugh? Share funny stories from when you first met and talk about how you're so much happier now. You're spontaneous? Prove it tonight. The way you click just might make the A-Listers jealous.

Nestpert Michael Broder, Ph.D., author of Can Your Relationship be Saved?

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-- The Nest Editors

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