The Issue: Chores
If you’re the husband: We know you miss your bachelor days when the word “cleaning” meant taking a stack of pizza boxes down to the dumpster. But cut her some slack. Pick the household tasks it won’t kill you to do and tell your wife you’ll be responsible for those. Think of it as a chance to get in a little extra cardio each day.
If you’re the wife: Feel like you’re saddled with the bulk of the chores? We hear you. But before you give him the cold shoulder (or “accidentally” dye his boxers magenta), make a list of all the things your spouse takes care of (the lawn, car maintenance, etc.) and give him credit before you rib him for never turning on the vacuum.
The game-changer: Play “chore wars.” Deal each other cards with pictures of various chores on them. Once you have your hand, start bartering (i.e., trade the “dishes” card for the “taking out the trash” one). Then get up and get your jobs done. The person who completes their cards first gets to choose their prize (wink, wink).
The Issue: Sex
If you’re the husband: If you could sum up your first few years of marriage, would you use the line: “I was told there’d be more sex”? Careful, buddy, you’re on a two-way street. If you don't make the goods enticing (yes, beyond 1-2-3 missionary) how will she come back for more? Next time, turn the focus all on her.
If you’re the wife: Every couple is unique -- how often they do it, who initiates, and how much they experiment. The key is that both of you are satisfied. But if you feel like you’ve both fallen into a routine or one of you has unrealistic expectations, talk about it.
The game-changer: Make a sex date once a week. Pick up a book like The Kama Sutra and set aside one night each week for a little game. Take turns closing your eyes, pointing to a page, and doing the frisky pose featured on that page.