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how to: deal with issues

Every marriage is bound to encounter a few bumps along the road, especially when you're first starting out. We're here to help you out with solutions to couples issues and common newlywed arguments. First, find out about the tried-and-true stuff your parents probably wish they'd known. We've sorted out the newlywed "rules" you can ignore from the relationship mistakes you need to avoid. Learn the right way to handle a fight and the solutions to the most common newlywed arguments. We've also got help for couples issues that are specific to the modern marriage. For example, the four rules of Facebook for couples, how to deal when you're married to a metrosexual, and handling coworker crushes. You can also read our expert Q&A for dealing with all kinds of couples issues. Find tips on making friends as a couple, managing work stress as a pair, and avoiding common newlywed arguments about stuff like cleaning and entertaining. We'll help you solve issues with everyone -- your honey, your couple friends, your in-laws -- and find solutions that work in every part of your life, from the bedroom to the office. From whether it's okay to tell friends about your issues to breaking out of a sex rut, we've got you covered. And don't forget your fellow Nesties! We've pulled together lists of real couple gripes and likes, Nesties' marriage secrets, and their most ridiculous fights -- you're sure to relate to something! Or find even more sympathetic ears with our relationships message board.

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First-Year Fights Solved!

Aimee & Jeff
With Aimee and Jeff, the problem wasn’t a fight but a loaded issue: Which family’s home should they go to for their first holiday?

He said: “I really just don’t want to insult or hurt either set of parents. I know how sensitive my parents can be, and I’m wondering if my in-laws could possibly be a bit more understanding.”

She said: “I suppose we could spend the morning with his parents and the afternoon with mine, just to keep everybody happy. I don’t know how they’d feel about that. I do know how important the whole tradition is in our home, especially for my dad.“

Marriage pro’s fix-it: Ready for a shocker? Sometimes the best solution is the one that leaves each side with a little less than they wanted. It’s called compromise. For Aimee and Jeff, this means that both of them need to give a little ground here. One person should step up and say, “Okay, I’ll give in on Thanksgiving if we can do Christmas with my family,” and the other may want to follow with, “Or we could do your family this year and mine next year.” The larger lesson they can learn is that it’s not so hard to give in if they see their mate is willing to do the same.


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