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how to: deal with issues

Every marriage is bound to encounter a few bumps along the road, especially when you're first starting out. We're here to help you out with solutions to couples issues and common newlywed arguments. First, find out about the tried-and-true stuff your parents probably wish they'd known. We've sorted out the newlywed "rules" you can ignore from the relationship mistakes you need to avoid. Learn the right way to handle a fight and the solutions to the most common newlywed arguments. We've also got help for couples issues that are specific to the modern marriage. For example, the four rules of Facebook for couples, how to deal when you're married to a metrosexual, and handling coworker crushes. You can also read our expert Q&A for dealing with all kinds of couples issues. Find tips on making friends as a couple, managing work stress as a pair, and avoiding common newlywed arguments about stuff like cleaning and entertaining. We'll help you solve issues with everyone -- your honey, your couple friends, your in-laws -- and find solutions that work in every part of your life, from the bedroom to the office. From whether it's okay to tell friends about your issues to breaking out of a sex rut, we've got you covered. And don't forget your fellow Nesties! We've pulled together lists of real couple gripes and likes, Nesties' marriage secrets, and their most ridiculous fights -- you're sure to relate to something! Or find even more sympathetic ears with our relationships message board.

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How to Date Another Couple

Seems simple, right? But finessing the art of double dating with another couple on a regular basis requires practically as much restraint -- and guerilla social maneuvers -- as you used when you first started seeing your now-spouse. Follow our date rules so you don’t get dumped...times two.

Do ask questions...but not the wrong ones.
Yes, you’re curious about how many bedrooms their new home has, where they went to grad school, and when they plan to have kids, but going Spanish Inquisition on another couple just makes you two look pushy -- like you’re “interviewing” them to see if they’re worthy of another outing (okay, maybe you are, but they shouldn’t know that!). Better to toss them a more fun question like, “How’d you two meet?” that lets them tell an entertaining story without feeling like they’re being challenged to a game of 20 (uncomfortable) questions.

Don’t show off.
Really? You and your spouse went shark-diving on your honeymoon? You just bought the latest green SUV? And one of you got a promotion in this lousy economy? Wow. You two are amazing...wait, what’s that bubbling noise? Oh, it’s the other couple snoring in their soup.

Think of a double date like a ping-pong tournament. You two lob something interesting over; they ping it back with cool info about them. If your spouse hit the merlot too hard and won’t shut up, give him a little squeeze under the table and slide in a friendly, “So... what does everyone think about dessert?”

Do always pay for half.
Remember this equation: Good double date = 50/50 split with no itemizing. That means that if you and your partner didn’t order apps but the other couple did, you should still pony up half of the bill. Why? Because you’ll look like penny-pinching losers if you start playing the “who ordered what” game. But here’s the exception: If you racked up extra charges that landed on your shared bill, like the couple of drinks you downed at the bar while waiting for the other couple to show, tell the waiter you’d like to split the bill 60/40 or offer to cover the tip to make up the cost.

Read on for more tips on making couple friends!

 

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