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how to: deal with issues

Every marriage is bound to encounter a few bumps along the road, especially when you're first starting out. We're here to help you out with solutions to couples issues and common newlywed arguments. First, find out about the tried-and-true stuff your parents probably wish they'd known. We've sorted out the newlywed "rules" you can ignore from the relationship mistakes you need to avoid. Learn the right way to handle a fight and the solutions to the most common newlywed arguments. We've also got help for couples issues that are specific to the modern marriage. For example, the four rules of Facebook for couples, how to deal when you're married to a metrosexual, and handling coworker crushes. You can also read our expert Q&A for dealing with all kinds of couples issues. Find tips on making friends as a couple, managing work stress as a pair, and avoiding common newlywed arguments about stuff like cleaning and entertaining. We'll help you solve issues with everyone -- your honey, your couple friends, your in-laws -- and find solutions that work in every part of your life, from the bedroom to the office. From whether it's okay to tell friends about your issues to breaking out of a sex rut, we've got you covered. And don't forget your fellow Nesties! We've pulled together lists of real couple gripes and likes, Nesties' marriage secrets, and their most ridiculous fights -- you're sure to relate to something! Or find even more sympathetic ears with our relationships message board.

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How to Stay Current with Your Spouse

Feeling out of touch with your spouse's day-to-day? Here's how to fix it.

Though you might be resistant to the idea at first, scheduling a time to talk could be the only way to make sure it actually happens. Sure, it might feel awkward to plug, "talk about our day" into your respective calendars, but we promise that both you and your spouse will reap the benefit if you do.

Simply set aside 15-20 minutes when you first get home -- and use that time specifically to catch up, not to bitch and complain about each other, or talk about things that need to get done around the house. Just ask questions and let your spouse talk about whatever the heck it is that he/she does all day long while you are apart. Then, take your turn. Chances are, you'll enjoy the process and it will quickly become habit.

Set as many ground rules as you need. If talk of household or marital issues continuously creeps into your chit chat, schedule a separate time to discuss those topics. For some couples, staying current comes completely naturally, other's not so much. But every couple struggles in one area or another. So try not to judge how it happens -- just do the work required to make it happen.

Bonus tip: For some couples, texting or leaving each other voicemails throughout the day is a great way to feel up to date.

Now get great tips on how to improve your phone relationship.

Nestpert: Jeff Palitz MFT, is a marriage and family therapist practicing in the San Diego area, EastLakeCounseling.com.

-- The Nest Editors

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