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how to: deal with issues

Every marriage is bound to encounter a few bumps along the road, especially when you're first starting out. We're here to help you out with solutions to couples issues and common newlywed arguments. First, find out about the tried-and-true stuff your parents probably wish they'd known. We've sorted out the newlywed "rules" you can ignore from the relationship mistakes you need to avoid. Learn the right way to handle a fight and the solutions to the most common newlywed arguments. We've also got help for couples issues that are specific to the modern marriage. For example, the four rules of Facebook for couples, how to deal when you're married to a metrosexual, and handling coworker crushes. You can also read our expert Q&A for dealing with all kinds of couples issues. Find tips on making friends as a couple, managing work stress as a pair, and avoiding common newlywed arguments about stuff like cleaning and entertaining. We'll help you solve issues with everyone -- your honey, your couple friends, your in-laws -- and find solutions that work in every part of your life, from the bedroom to the office. From whether it's okay to tell friends about your issues to breaking out of a sex rut, we've got you covered. And don't forget your fellow Nesties! We've pulled together lists of real couple gripes and likes, Nesties' marriage secrets, and their most ridiculous fights -- you're sure to relate to something! Or find even more sympathetic ears with our relationships message board.

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How to Try New Things

We’re all creatures of habit to some extent, and it’s easy to fall into a routine when you’re busy working and nesting. But before you get stuck in a rut (or become a total bore), remember that trying new things is good for both you and your relationship. A recent study from Winston-Salem State University found that people who tried new things on a regular basis were more likely to be more positive about life and to repel negative emotions, which may reduce their risk for anxiety and depression. Hmmm, sounds like pretty good motivation to break out of your routine, doesn’t it? Lucky for you, you have a partner in crime to take along for the ride. But if your days have become so predictable that you don’t even know where to begin, here are some tips for getting started.

Start by whipping out a pen and paper. Make three columns with the following titles: “This week,” “This month,” and “This year.” Under each of those categories, write down one thing you’ve been meaning to do within that time frame but haven’t gotten around to yet. Maybe under “This week” your goal is something small, like trying a new restaurant, while “This year” is something bigger, like taking a couples’ vacation to Hawaii.

Then below each goal, make a list of what it will take to actually accomplish it. Trying a new restaurant won’t really take much prep work, but still list the steps (1. Ask your partner which night he’s free, 2. Make a reservation, and 3. Dig in.) But getting a crew together for a vacation in Hawaii? That’ll require a bit more planning. So start mapping the basic steps on paper (coordinate with other couples to pick a date, research flights, pick a hotel, etc.).

Once you’re done, don’t just let that paper sit there collecting dust. Put your words into action. Return to your list of goals at the start of each week. Have they changed at all? Then make some amendments. Cross off your weekly goal (since you accomplished it, right?), and set a new one for that week. Is there something you should be doing to get closer to your monthly or yearly goal that you haven’t done yet? Make sure it’s on that week’s to-do list. Regularly updating your progress will encourage you to actually follow through with them. Trust us, once you start crossing some of your goals off your list, you’ll start to feel good and you’ll be encouraged to do more new things in the future.

-- The Nest Editors