His job is taking over our lives -- he’s constantly stressed out when he comes home and it’s taking its toll. How can I help him better separate work life and home life?
Does your husband love -- or at least like -- his work? If not, it may be time for a family meeting. After all, if he’s doing something that he doesn’t like and the stress level is so high that it’s taking its toll on your home life and your relationship, then that’s a recipe for disaster: namely, a grumpy husband and a fed-up wife who dreads him coming home.
If he likes his job then it’s time for a different type of family meeting -- the kind where you figure out how you can support him in his work and how he can be more supportive of your marriage. Maybe he would be less stressed out about work if he knew that he could stay late at the office one night per week or go in on the weekend once in a while without you being upset. Some people find that they need to decompress after work. This can mean taking a hot shower or going for a run (either of which you could do together). For others, it means a solid 30 to 60 minutes alone, sitting in front of the television or in a quiet room.
Try talking to your husband and letting him know how his work stress is trickling into your home life. Let him know that your relationship is more important to you than anything and that you want to work together to find a way to give him the space he needs for his career while also carving out time together at home.
-- Debby Herbenick
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