I want to entertain friends a lot but he's not interested and complains every time we have people over. How do we compromise?

Though humans are social creatures by nature, it’s a minority of people that would want people over all the time. You may be unusually social and may need to learn that your husband needs his space or his down time. He may need to learn to come out of his shell or at least allow you space to enjoy entertaining, every now and then.

You could compromise by going with a middle-ground number – for example, if you want to have people over three times a week and he wants people over once a week, then you could compromise on twice a week – but then both of you lose. Instead, look for a way to both win. For example, would you both get what you wanted if you hosted a Super Bowl or March Madness party? Or if he went out with the guys and you had the girls over to watch Top Chef or drink wine?

He also might prefer certain types of gatherings. Some people like small crowds but not big ones. There may be some things you can do at your house and other things you’ll need to meet up with your friends at a restaurant for or ask them to host from time to time so that he can either skip out or leave early if he needs time alone.

By talking to each other about what kind of social life you want and what each of your needs for space are, you can help to create the kind of life at home or with friends that is important to you both. Remember, too, to make time to be together -- just the two of you.

Nestpert: Debby Herbenick, PhD, is a research scientist at Indiana University, a sexual health educator at The Kinsey Institute, and author of Because It Feels Good: A Woman's Guide to Sexual Pleasure & Satisfaction. She blogs at MySexProfessor.com.

-- Debby Herbenick

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