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how to: deal with issues

Every marriage is bound to encounter a few bumps along the road, especially when you're first starting out. We're here to help you out with solutions to couples issues and common newlywed arguments. First, find out about the tried-and-true stuff your parents probably wish they'd known. We've sorted out the newlywed "rules" you can ignore from the relationship mistakes you need to avoid. Learn the right way to handle a fight and the solutions to the most common newlywed arguments. We've also got help for couples issues that are specific to the modern marriage. For example, the four rules of Facebook for couples, how to deal when you're married to a metrosexual, and handling coworker crushes. You can also read our expert Q&A for dealing with all kinds of couples issues. Find tips on making friends as a couple, managing work stress as a pair, and avoiding common newlywed arguments about stuff like cleaning and entertaining. We'll help you solve issues with everyone -- your honey, your couple friends, your in-laws -- and find solutions that work in every part of your life, from the bedroom to the office. From whether it's okay to tell friends about your issues to breaking out of a sex rut, we've got you covered. And don't forget your fellow Nesties! We've pulled together lists of real couple gripes and likes, Nesties' marriage secrets, and their most ridiculous fights -- you're sure to relate to something! Or find even more sympathetic ears with our relationships message board.

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Love Q&A: Posting too much personal info on Facebook?

The Nest Q&A

He gets mad when I post personal things about our lives on Facebook. It’s nothing too personal so I don’t see the big deal!

Define personal. If he’s upset that you posted what you ate for lunch, that’s one thing. But if he’s upset that you’re posting something that involves him, then he has a right to have input. Your Facebook status updates may not be chronicling your sex life (at least I hope not!) but if you put anything on Facebook that makes him uncomfortable, try to listen carefully to his concerns.

He has a right, for example, to insist that you not put anything on Facebook that involves him. If he doesn’t want his picture on Facebook or information about what he’s doing, then you should respect that. Even though many of us are pretty open on Facebook, some people are not for good reason. Employers sometimes use Facebook information and pictures to make decisions about hiring or promotions. Your husband may be worried that a drunken picture of him or a wall post that references his political affiliation could put him in a bad position one day.

Then again, you also have rights to post things about yourself. If he is upset about your own personal self-expression then you may want to have a talk about the many ways that people express themselves through music, clothes, cars, cooking, books, hairstyles, makeup, and careers -- and yes, now through Facebook. Finally, talking together about your privacy settings and demonstrating that you have taken precautions to protect your information from people outside your group of family and friends may help your case.

Nestpert: Debby Herbenick, PhD, is a research scientist at Indiana University, a sexual health educator at The Kinsey Institute and author of Because It Feels Good: A Woman's Guide to Sexual Pleasure & Satisfaction. She blogs at

-- Debby Herbenick

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