“I will probably go to the grocery store on Friday and grab a copy of People magazine to look at Kim K’s wedding pictures. I won’t purchase it but instead will walk around the grocery store like it’s a library reading the article and looking like I’m shopping.”
“Confession: I would TOTALLY go to Medieval Times. I’ve always been curious about it. I understand that it’s ridiculous and completely obnoxious and over the top, but I want to see some jousting.”
“A very nice coworker has been trapped in the kitchen with a really weird coworker who won’t shut up for the last 20 minutes. I am not volunteering to break it up despite the fact that nice coworker won’t do it and I know he doesn’t want to talk to this guy. (He is comparing making a sandwich to an algorithm.)”
“I just had three hot dogs for dinner. It’s leftover night, but I ate all the leftovers for lunch. Therefore, hot dogs.”
“I just bought a bunch of stuff from Pier 1 yesterday for my birthday party and intend on taking, like, 75 percent of the stuff back after I use it.”
“When Lucas [son] wants to watch the Power Rangers, I make him watch Power Rangers R.P.M. because these guys are the Rangers: [posts pictures of attractive shirtless actors].”
“I like to stick my face in my cat’s belly and rub it around. I wish there was an over-the-counter kitty sedater so I could do it for more than two seconds.”
“I wear aprons. I love wearing them and I usually put one on as I’m getting breakfast made, and it stays on till after dinner is cleaned up.”
“My dad gave me his tickets to the opening game for the Nebraska football team . My MIL is watching the kids for us. We are leaving super early just to get away from them. I do not give a s*** about Nebraska football, and I was thinking about bringing a book with me, but I knew my H would absolutely kill me.”
“Yesterday I was pulling out of the garage and forgot that DH was parked in the driveway and not the garage (I was in a hurry and wasn’t paying attention) and…yeah, I basically sideswiped his car. Whoops. Just some minor paint damage to his handle but I really considered not telling him and just making something up about him not noticing that he got sideswiped in a parking lot.”
-- The Nest Editors