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how to: deal with issues

Every marriage is bound to encounter a few bumps along the road, especially when you're first starting out. We're here to help you out with solutions to couples issues and common newlywed arguments. First, find out about the tried-and-true stuff your parents probably wish they'd known. We've sorted out the newlywed "rules" you can ignore from the relationship mistakes you need to avoid. Learn the right way to handle a fight and the solutions to the most common newlywed arguments. We've also got help for couples issues that are specific to the modern marriage. For example, the four rules of Facebook for couples, how to deal when you're married to a metrosexual, and handling coworker crushes. You can also read our expert Q&A for dealing with all kinds of couples issues. Find tips on making friends as a couple, managing work stress as a pair, and avoiding common newlywed arguments about stuff like cleaning and entertaining. We'll help you solve issues with everyone -- your honey, your couple friends, your in-laws -- and find solutions that work in every part of your life, from the bedroom to the office. From whether it's okay to tell friends about your issues to breaking out of a sex rut, we've got you covered. And don't forget your fellow Nesties! We've pulled together lists of real couple gripes and likes, Nesties' marriage secrets, and their most ridiculous fights -- you're sure to relate to something! Or find even more sympathetic ears with our relationships message board.

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Quiz: What Do Your Friends Really Think of You?

You talk about your friends behind their backs -- time to find out what they say behind yours.

1. When you go out to dinner with another couple, you...
a. Drop your credit card with a wordless understanding that you’ll split the bill down the middle, regardless of what everyone ordered.
b. Look at the bill, add up what the two of you ate and drank, and just pay that.
c. Reach for the check to pick up the whole tab without thinking twice; your friends will treat you next time.

2. Think about the kinds of parties you throw. They often...
a. Involve pizza, a quick home tour, and guests leaving around 11.
b. Vexingly wind up being on the same nights when most of your friends tell you that they already have other plans.
c. Lead to group picture sharing, storytelling, and hookups among your single friends.

3. Your friends invite you over to their place and introduce you to another couple they’re close with. You really hit it off. You...
a. Think it would be nice to see them again but don’t bother following up.
b. Get their contact info and try to hang out with them separately. It’s not like your friends own that couple.
c. Email everyone the next day suggesting that the six of you hang was fun.

4. You’re typically invited to your friends’ events...
a. A week beforehand.
b. When you bump into them at the store.
c. A month in advance because they said they wanted to “get you on our calendar.”

5. Drinking alcohol in any kind of social setting tends to...
a. Bring you out of your shells -- at least that’s what your friends tell you.
b. Make you the life of the party.
c. Necessitate emails the following morning with “SO SORRY” in the subject line.

6. When spending time with your friends’ children, you...
a. Say the right things about their cuteness but avoid prolonged interaction.
b. “Jokingly” ask when they’ll be put back in their animal cages.
c. Get wink-wink offers from your friends like, “Hey, guys, want to adopt our kids?”

7. The two of you get into a fight before meeting friends. You...
a. Call them up to cancel the evening…you’ll just be in snippy moods.
b. Chat up your friends’ good-looking spouses and shoot each other death stares.
c. Call a temporary truce so you can have a good night…even if you’re faking.

8. After friends have you over to their home for dinner, you...
a. Tell them, as you’re walking out the door, how nice it was since you never get your acts together to entertain.
b. Bring home the leftovers of whatever food and wine you brought.
c. Send them a quick email the next day to say thank you…and you’ll return the favor.

9 You’re in a group at your friends’ place, and people start gossiping about a couple you all know. You...
a. Keep dishing more dirt. “People! Guess how much Laurie and David’s new home cost? Oh, and Amy and Bill are divorcing.”
b. Nod and chuckle occasionally but don’t contribute anything. It’s bad karma.
c. Only chime in if it’s something funny and won’t make you look like jerks later on.

10. Conversations with friends always seem to drift toward...
a. A heated, table-pounding, and somewhat one-sided political discussion.
b. The latest antics of your adorable Bichon Frise -- accompanied by photos!
c. How you don’t see each other enough.

Click here to find out your results!


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