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how to: deal with issues

Every marriage is bound to encounter a few bumps along the road, especially when you're first starting out. We're here to help you out with solutions to couples issues and common newlywed arguments. First, find out about the tried-and-true stuff your parents probably wish they'd known. We've sorted out the newlywed "rules" you can ignore from the relationship mistakes you need to avoid. Learn the right way to handle a fight and the solutions to the most common newlywed arguments. We've also got help for couples issues that are specific to the modern marriage. For example, the four rules of Facebook for couples, how to deal when you're married to a metrosexual, and handling coworker crushes. You can also read our expert Q&A for dealing with all kinds of couples issues. Find tips on making friends as a couple, managing work stress as a pair, and avoiding common newlywed arguments about stuff like cleaning and entertaining. We'll help you solve issues with everyone -- your honey, your couple friends, your in-laws -- and find solutions that work in every part of your life, from the bedroom to the office. From whether it's okay to tell friends about your issues to breaking out of a sex rut, we've got you covered. And don't forget your fellow Nesties! We've pulled together lists of real couple gripes and likes, Nesties' marriage secrets, and their most ridiculous fights -- you're sure to relate to something! Or find even more sympathetic ears with our relationships message board.

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Real Couple Gripes & Likes: The Gripes

Looking for Cheers

"My husband thinks he's so handy. I'll never forget one time when he mowed the lawn and left our beautiful, plush grass looking like Stevie Wonder had cut it. As if that wasn't bad enough, he wanted to be appreciated for all his hard work. And he was serious!" -- Robin

[Nest Tip] Praise his work or you'll never get him to mow the lawn again!

Breaking the Code

"My husband and I haven’t gotten into a good routine yet for going through our mail. So it builds up, and then he’ll say, ‘We really need to go through the mail.' What this really translates to is: ‘You really need to go through the mail.' He does this 'we' thing with other stuff like doing the dishes, laundry, etc. But 'we' only includes me!" -- Susan

[Nest Tip] Make a joke out of the situation so that your point is clear but doesn't start a crazy fight. Try saying something like, “How come ‘we’ ends up being me? I'm onto your system. But I'll do the mail if you do the dishes -- and then we'll really get something done." Then fill out a chore chart and make sure the mail gets assigned to one of you.

Leaving a Trail

"My wife's most annoying habit is that she's a picker -- she picks her nails, her nail polish, her cuticles. I'm always finding her polish chips on the bottom of the passenger seat of our car." -- Eric

[Nest Tip] Hold her hand every time you catch her picking. Or invest in a Dustbuster.

Blabber Mouth

"My husband can't keep a secret to save his life. He has no sense of holding some things back. For instance, I shared something personal and private about a friend with him, and, naturally, the next time we see her, he blurts it out right in front of her. He'll say, 'Yeah, my wife told me that.' I don't know if he forgets, isn't listening, or just doesn't care." -- Marjorie

[Nest Tip] If you're going to keep sharing, then make a mental note to remind him what he can’t say when you meet up with friends.

Patiently Waiting

"My husband is a huge procrastinator. He's been saying that he's going to clean out the garage since we moved into our house -- and that was more than a year ago! I admit that he's cleaned up some of it, but at this rate, it won’t be completely done until we move again." -- Carol

[Nest Tip] Go over your calendars together and schedule all to-dos -- yours and his. And make sure he knows you'll keep him company while he cleans. You might even lend a hand or two.

Backseat Viewer

"My wife watches TV shows that drive her crazy. She spends the whole hour critiquing everything, from the writing to the camera work, the acting, and even the actors' personal lives. And she wants me to care and be incensed too. I don’t get why she doesn’t just change the channel." -- David

[Nest Tip] Change the channel for her. Or turn off the TV.

Glass Is Half-empty

"My husband clips his fingernails and toenails on the couch and puts the waste in whatever empty cup he was drinking from. It makes getting refills a very dangerous activity!" -- Leah

[Nest Tip] Watch -- and wash -- all drinking devices!

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See More: Couple Issues , Love & Sex , Real Couples