“Drag” us to a chick flick
Truth is (sshhhh!), some of them are actually good. Julie & Julia? Heartwarming. Twilight? Go Team Jacob! And you’re our only excuse to watch them. But don’t abuse this privilege––we really don’t want to see that Eat, Pray, Love movie––and we mean it (even the most sensitive dude has no interest in watching Julia Roberts bond with elephants).
Pick your nose
To clarify, we’re not asking you to start digging for boogers all the time. And we appreciate that you use a tissue. But it’s (oddly) endearing to catch you with your finger up your nose. It’s shows us you’re human with a real body that has real functions too. And it makes it okay for us to fart (but, for the record, we don’t totally love it when you fart––farts smell).
Be over-the-top girly
Sure, we love it when you down a few pints and watch the game with us. But we also love all your girly habits that we make fun of. Shrieking at mosquitoes, pink flip-flops, medicine cabinets filled with things like “Kiwi Shampoo…” We ridicule because it's cute. We like that you're scared of spiders, and we like that you trust us to kill them for you. Oh, and we love the smell of that shampoo.
Pick up the tab
Sheesh, why the stink eye? I’m just being honest. Look, we’re big believers in chivalry, and we usually want to pay. But sometimes, every now and then, it’s nice to be treated.
Take us shopping
In case you’re worried -- “Maybe he’ll resent me for trying to dress him” -- I’m here to tell you, not a chance. We trust your taste, and we don’t have strong opinions (or any opinions really) on denim. So please, pick out our clothes for us. Just do it quickly -- we hate the actual shopping part.
Tear up during movies
Okay, so it typically only occurs at the end of sports-themed flicks (like Rudy and Remember the Titans) but nonetheless, it sure is cute to see that deep down, you’re just a big old softie.
Toot your horn
No, we’re not asking you to brag (though we dig the confidence -- in small doses). We meant “toot” in the rip one sort of way. Now we don’t want to be choking on your fumes or anything -- and this certainly doesn’t excuse public flatuation -- but we like that you feel comfy enough with us to pass some gas on occasion. Plus, it gives us the green light to do the same. (Yes, it does -- despite what “he” says. Deal with it!)
Use our products
We can’t help but smile to ourselves every time we realize our coconut body cream or Bioré strips aren’t in the same place we left them. Just stay away from the makeup, okay?
I’ll let you in on a little secret: We may say we don’t want dessert, but we want dessert. So order the tiramisu. You see, there’s this rule: The calories don’t count when you’re eating off his plate. So please, feel free.
Bust a move
We relish those rare occasions when you decide to show off your moves on the dance floor. Even if your Michael Jackson impression is slightly mortifying, it’s nice to see you let loose (ahem, with your clothes on).
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