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how to: deal with issues

Every marriage is bound to encounter a few bumps along the road, especially when you're first starting out. We're here to help you out with solutions to couples issues and common newlywed arguments. First, find out about the tried-and-true stuff your parents probably wish they'd known. We've sorted out the newlywed "rules" you can ignore from the relationship mistakes you need to avoid. Learn the right way to handle a fight and the solutions to the most common newlywed arguments. We've also got help for couples issues that are specific to the modern marriage. For example, the four rules of Facebook for couples, how to deal when you're married to a metrosexual, and handling coworker crushes. You can also read our expert Q&A for dealing with all kinds of couples issues. Find tips on making friends as a couple, managing work stress as a pair, and avoiding common newlywed arguments about stuff like cleaning and entertaining. We'll help you solve issues with everyone -- your honey, your couple friends, your in-laws -- and find solutions that work in every part of your life, from the bedroom to the office. From whether it's okay to tell friends about your issues to breaking out of a sex rut, we've got you covered. And don't forget your fellow Nesties! We've pulled together lists of real couple gripes and likes, Nesties' marriage secrets, and their most ridiculous fights -- you're sure to relate to something! Or find even more sympathetic ears with our relationships message board.

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Things I Wish My Partner Would Do More Often

We breakdown the not-so-obvious stuff your partner wants you to do more often.


“Drag” us to a chick flick
Truth is (sshhhh!), some of them are actually good. Julie & Julia? Heartwarming. Twilight? Go Team Jacob! And you’re our only excuse to watch them. But don’t abuse this privilege––we really don’t want to see that Eat, Pray, Love movie––and we mean it (even the most sensitive dude has no interest in watching Julia Roberts bond with elephants).

Be over-the-top girly
Sure, we love it when you down a few pints and watch the game with us. But we also love all your girly habits that we make fun of. Shrieking at mosquitoes, pink flip-flops, medicine cabinets filled with things like “Kiwi Shampoo…” We ridicule because it's cute. We like that you're scared of spiders, and we like that you trust us to kill them for you. Oh, and we love the smell of that shampoo.

Pick up the tab

Sheesh, why the stink eye? I’m just being honest. Look, we’re big believers in chivalry, and we usually want to pay. But sometimes, every now and then, it’s nice to be treated.

Take us shopping
In case you’re worried -- “Maybe he’ll resent me for trying to dress him” -- I’m here to tell you, not a chance. We trust your taste, and we don’t have strong opinions (or any opinions really) on denim. So please, pick out our clothes for us. Just do it quickly -- we hate the actual shopping part.


Tear up during movies
Okay, so it typically only occurs at the end of sports-themed flicks (like Rudy and Remember the Titans) but nonetheless, it sure is cute to see that deep down, you’re just a big old softie.

Use our products
We can’t help but smile to ourselves every time we realize our coconut body cream or Bioré strips aren’t in the same place we left them. Just stay away from the makeup, okay?

Order dessert
I’ll let you in on a little secret: We may say we don’t want dessert, but we want dessert. So order the tiramisu. You see, there’s this rule: The calories don’t count when you’re eating off his plate. So please, feel free.

Bust a move
We relish those rare occasions when you decide to show off your moves on the dance floor. Even if your Michael Jackson impression is slightly mortifying, it’s nice to see you let loose (ahem, with your clothes on).

-- Jeff Wilser and Kristin Koch

See More: Couple Issues , Love & Sex