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how to: deal with issues

Every marriage is bound to encounter a few bumps along the road, especially when you're first starting out. We're here to help you out with solutions to couples issues and common newlywed arguments. First, find out about the tried-and-true stuff your parents probably wish they'd known. We've sorted out the newlywed "rules" you can ignore from the relationship mistakes you need to avoid. Learn the right way to handle a fight and the solutions to the most common newlywed arguments. We've also got help for couples issues that are specific to the modern marriage. For example, the four rules of Facebook for couples, how to deal when you're married to a metrosexual, and handling coworker crushes. You can also read our expert Q&A for dealing with all kinds of couples issues. Find tips on making friends as a couple, managing work stress as a pair, and avoiding common newlywed arguments about stuff like cleaning and entertaining. We'll help you solve issues with everyone -- your honey, your couple friends, your in-laws -- and find solutions that work in every part of your life, from the bedroom to the office. From whether it's okay to tell friends about your issues to breaking out of a sex rut, we've got you covered. And don't forget your fellow Nesties! We've pulled together lists of real couple gripes and likes, Nesties' marriage secrets, and their most ridiculous fights -- you're sure to relate to something! Or find even more sympathetic ears with our relationships message board.

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Whose Name Comes First in Your Relationship?

Ever wonder why it’s always Tom and Katie -- never Katie and Tom? Or Brad and Angelina -- not Angelina and Brad? Turns out, a new study has found that people are likelier to list the man’s name first when they’re talking about a couple.

According to researchers, the tendency to start with men's names is a throwback to the days when they went first as a rule -- since they were considered to be more powerful and influential.

But while this study was looking primarily at written, more formal communication, we started wondering how modern couples are addressed by their friends and families. So we asked Nesties on the community boards what order your names tend to come in.

Here’s what you had to say:

· His name and her name: 27.8%

· Her name and his name: 20.6%

· It’s not consistent: 51.5%

As we suspected, it’s not so cut and dry. Here’s how a few of you explained your ordering system:

For my husband and me, it's his name then mine...something about the names makes them roll off the tongue easier if his goes first. It's the opposite for several of our couple friends, though. For me, it's all about the ease of spitting out the names -- and nothing to do with any kind of relationship hierarchy, or which person I know best/longer.
--zelda25

On our wedding invites it was mine then his, because that's just the etiquette, but usually people just say "nick n ash” -- probably because it's easy to say and it flows.
--ashleym909

My people say my name first, his people say his name first. Isn't that common?
--zitqueen

My family will say my name first -- his will use his first or just his. I would say most of our friends refer to us as "him then her," but our sisters are always “her then him.” Maybe it has to do with who you’re more connected with in the relationship coming first?
--Jefsnickerdodle

Formally speaking, I always do his first and typically when talking about a couple, I do his first as well. BUT when the female in the relationship is someone I know personally, I do hers first!
--martinilove

It depends on who we're talking to. If they know me better, my name is first...except the older couples. Then it's his name first. And his friends put his name first.
--SallyRae1120

How does it work in your nest? Share your answers below.

-- Laura Schocker

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