how to: deal with issues

Every marriage is bound to encounter a few bumps along the road, especially when you're first starting out. We're here to help you out with solutions to couples issues and common newlywed arguments. First, find out about the tried-and-true stuff your parents probably wish they'd known. We've sorted out the newlywed "rules" you can ignore from the relationship mistakes you need to avoid. Learn the right way to handle a fight and the solutions to the most common newlywed arguments. We've also got help for couples issues that are specific to the modern marriage. For example, the four rules of Facebook for couples, how to deal when you're married to a metrosexual, and handling coworker crushes. You can also read our expert Q&A for dealing with all kinds of couples issues. Find tips on making friends as a couple, managing work stress as a pair, and avoiding common newlywed arguments about stuff like cleaning and entertaining. We'll help you solve issues with everyone -- your honey, your couple friends, your in-laws -- and find solutions that work in every part of your life, from the bedroom to the office. From whether it's okay to tell friends about your issues to breaking out of a sex rut, we've got you covered. And don't forget your fellow Nesties! We've pulled together lists of real couple gripes and likes, Nesties' marriage secrets, and their most ridiculous fights -- you're sure to relate to something! Or find even more sympathetic ears with our relationships message board.

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Love

How Women's Magazines Ruined My Sex Life

I have nothing against monthly glossies -- except when their advice seeps into my bedroom.

Photo: Thinkstock

Some sex advice is undeniably true (example: “Stay awake.”). But as women’s magazines churn out wackier ideas like, “Run ice cubes down his legs,” a quest for variety has led to absurdity. The mags say, “He’ll Love This!” Do we? Here’s what guys really think about the tips in those “50 Moves to Turn Him On” articles.

Advice: Laugh -- it makes sex more fun

You know what’s funny? Will Ferrell movies. You know what’s not funny? Being laughed at while we’re trying to make you feel good (or maybe even testing out a new technique). Even if you think you’re just being playful, all we hear is “HA HA HA,” which is enough to make us paranoid that our sack skills are, well, laughable. Sex is fun enough without the forced soundtrack.

Advice: Ambush him

Sure, spontaneity is sexy…especially if you sneakily join us in the shower or come to bed wearing lacy lingerie (or nothing at all). But there’s a big difference between a sexy surprise, such as being woken up by some soft kisses “down there,” and opening our eyes to find you clutching our balls.

Advice: Act like strangers

Don’t get us wrong -- we love the mystery of our first time with you. But that doesn’t mean that one, two, or three years into the relationship we want to relive it. We really don’t want to meet you at a bar, ask for your number, and seduce you back at our place. That’s what dating was for. Here’s the best role-playing game: You take on the role of the woman, we’ll take on the role of the man, and our “game” is to have hot sex.

Advice: Scream like a porn star

Dirty talk is hot. Bad acting, however, is not. This might be hard to swallow (hee hee), but we men are not as dumb as we look. Okay, so maybe we can’t always spot when you’re faking, but we know something’s off when you suddenly shriek, “Yes, yes, yes! Give it to me, cowboy!” Seriously, it’s insulting. (Genuine moaning and telling us how good we feel, on the other hand, is completely encouraged.)

Advice: Heat things up with hot wax

Great idea! Nothing says a good time like second-degree burns. I’m not sure which magazine (or ’90s music video) first started dishing this gem of an idea, but for whatever reason, it’s taken off -- and now we guys are stuck shielding our package from vanilla-scented candles.

Advice: Spice things up with food

I like to eat. I like to have sex. Rarely do I enjoy both simultaneously. Even food that is sexy in theory -- like, say, honey -- is not so sexy in reality. I’m into you, but I don’t want to stick to you.

Advice: Guys love toys -- so use ’em

Sure, sometimes we’re up for a little something extra in the sack. But that doesn’t mean we want you to whip out a whole box full of beads, wands, and random vibrating contraptions that are potentially illegal in 17 states. I don’t care how “good” it may feel -- a set of battery-powered lips is kind of scary.

Advice: Melt him with ice cubes

Two words: Shrink. Idge. Which is not something any guy wants. Do not put ice anywhere near it. Ever.

Jeff Wilser is the author of The Maxims of Manhood and the editor of ThePlunge.com.

-- Jeff Wilser

See More: Couple Issues , Love & Sex