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how to: deal with issues

Every marriage is bound to encounter a few bumps along the road, especially when you're first starting out. We're here to help you out with solutions to couples issues and common newlywed arguments. First, find out about the tried-and-true stuff your parents probably wish they'd known. We've sorted out the newlywed "rules" you can ignore from the relationship mistakes you need to avoid. Learn the right way to handle a fight and the solutions to the most common newlywed arguments. We've also got help for couples issues that are specific to the modern marriage. For example, the four rules of Facebook for couples, how to deal when you're married to a metrosexual, and handling coworker crushes. You can also read our expert Q&A for dealing with all kinds of couples issues. Find tips on making friends as a couple, managing work stress as a pair, and avoiding common newlywed arguments about stuff like cleaning and entertaining. We'll help you solve issues with everyone -- your honey, your couple friends, your in-laws -- and find solutions that work in every part of your life, from the bedroom to the office. From whether it's okay to tell friends about your issues to breaking out of a sex rut, we've got you covered. And don't forget your fellow Nesties! We've pulled together lists of real couple gripes and likes, Nesties' marriage secrets, and their most ridiculous fights -- you're sure to relate to something! Or find even more sympathetic ears with our relationships message board.

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Q.

The Nest �D;�A;�D;�A;Q&A

There's a couple in our circle of friends who always has to "top" whatever is going on in our lives. It drives my husband and me insane. How do we deal?

A.

Perhaps you've heard the phrase "it takes two to tango"? Well, in this case, it takes four. Believe it or not, you and your husband are partly to blame for the catty dynamic. Yes, really. You may be convinced that you don't egg them on, but by dropping hints about the trips you're taking or the things you're buying, you're subtly inviting them to one-up you. Plus, the fact that you even care shows that you're competitive too. The solution? You can take yourselves out of the game. Next time you see the Toppers, let them prattle on about their über-fabulous lives without breathing a single word about your own. By diffusing the situation, you may find that they no longer get under your skin. But, if they keep trying to lure you into competitive chitchat, pull the plug permanently. Life is far too short for frenemies.