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how to: deal with issues

Every marriage is bound to encounter a few bumps along the road, especially when you're first starting out. We're here to help you out with solutions to couples issues and common newlywed arguments. First, find out about the tried-and-true stuff your parents probably wish they'd known. We've sorted out the newlywed "rules" you can ignore from the relationship mistakes you need to avoid. Learn the right way to handle a fight and the solutions to the most common newlywed arguments. We've also got help for couples issues that are specific to the modern marriage. For example, the four rules of Facebook for couples, how to deal when you're married to a metrosexual, and handling coworker crushes. You can also read our expert Q&A for dealing with all kinds of couples issues. Find tips on making friends as a couple, managing work stress as a pair, and avoiding common newlywed arguments about stuff like cleaning and entertaining. We'll help you solve issues with everyone -- your honey, your couple friends, your in-laws -- and find solutions that work in every part of your life, from the bedroom to the office. From whether it's okay to tell friends about your issues to breaking out of a sex rut, we've got you covered. And don't forget your fellow Nesties! We've pulled together lists of real couple gripes and likes, Nesties' marriage secrets, and their most ridiculous fights -- you're sure to relate to something! Or find even more sympathetic ears with our relationships message board.

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The Nest Q&A

My coworker is having marriage problems and always asks me for advice. How do I tell her I don't want to get involved without being rude?


You're right to resist stepping into this particular vat of quicksand. If you've tried the basics (avoiding eye contact, continuing to type as she "shares"), try the self-effacing angle, i.e. "Gee, I don't know why you ask me for advice…I just do what Oprah tells me!" If she still doesn't take the bait it's time to be super direct. Say, "I'm sorry, but I'm just not comfortable giving you advice. Marriage problems can be so serious and complex that I'd never forgive myself if I said the wrong thing." Then (even if you're at your own desk) casually get up and walk away so she can process what you said.