Q.
My MIL cries everytime we leave her house. Last time, she practically hung from our car bumper. How do we get her to realize this is upsetting to us?
A.
I'm sure you don't need us to tellyou that you MIL has some serious separation issues (since she isn't even trying to be subtle about it!) We consulted Susan Newman, Phd, author of the book of No: 250 Ways To Say It- and Mean It and Stop People Pleasing Forever, for advice on how to get your MIL to turn off the waterworks and step away from your vehicle. "You can tell her it upsets you all you want, but that's probably not going to help on its own," says Dr. Newman. "You need to take a firm stand with her."
The next time yo uvisit, have your make take her aside (it will sound better coming from her own son) and tell her that you both lover her, but that her behavior really upsets both of yo uand you're not going to visit as often if she doesn't stop the departure meltdowns. If she still doesn't listen, you must follow through with your ultimatum until she comes around.
Another thing you can do is to make sure your spouse spends some alone time with his mom to reassure her that her relationship with her child as she's known it isn't over. "Also, it might help if your mate tells her how happy the two of you are together and what good care you take of each other," says Dr.Newman. "Mothers worry that nobody can take care of their child as well as they can, and this could put her mind at ease."
-- The Nest Editors
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