how to: deal with issues

Every marriage is bound to encounter a few bumps along the road, especially when you're first starting out. We're here to help you out with solutions to couples issues and common newlywed arguments. First, find out about the tried-and-true stuff your parents probably wish they'd known. We've sorted out the newlywed "rules" you can ignore from the relationship mistakes you need to avoid. Learn the right way to handle a fight and the solutions to the most common newlywed arguments. We've also got help for couples issues that are specific to the modern marriage. For example, the four rules of Facebook for couples, how to deal when you're married to a metrosexual, and handling coworker crushes. You can also read our expert Q&A for dealing with all kinds of couples issues. Find tips on making friends as a couple, managing work stress as a pair, and avoiding common newlywed arguments about stuff like cleaning and entertaining. We'll help you solve issues with everyone -- your honey, your couple friends, your in-laws -- and find solutions that work in every part of your life, from the bedroom to the office. From whether it's okay to tell friends about your issues to breaking out of a sex rut, we've got you covered. And don't forget your fellow Nesties! We've pulled together lists of real couple gripes and likes, Nesties' marriage secrets, and their most ridiculous fights -- you're sure to relate to something! Or find even more sympathetic ears with our relationships message board.

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Love Q&A: Tired of Doing His Chores

Q.

DH will start doing chores, then stop to "rest." I end up finishing his work and I'm really fed up!

A.

Did you ever think he might really be resting? One editor here didn't believe her husband would actually remember to take the recycling out, so she'd always do it for him. Recently, she decided to wait it out - and guess what? He does take it out, just in his own time. Why not reset your chore clock? sit down and divvy up the main tasks, which one of you will do them, and ballpark how often (or per level of mess) each needs to be done. If you clearly set up expectations then it's much easier to clamp down when he's "resting" for too long. And when that happens, don't go on the attack. Simply explain to him that when he fails to meet his domestic responsibilities, it bugs you because it takes time away from the two of you doing fun things together because then you're the one putting away the dishes, cleaning the bathroom, etc.

-- The Nest Editors

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