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how to: deal with issues

Every marriage is bound to encounter a few bumps along the road, especially when you're first starting out. We're here to help you out with solutions to couples issues and common newlywed arguments. First, find out about the tried-and-true stuff your parents probably wish they'd known. We've sorted out the newlywed "rules" you can ignore from the relationship mistakes you need to avoid. Learn the right way to handle a fight and the solutions to the most common newlywed arguments. We've also got help for couples issues that are specific to the modern marriage. For example, the four rules of Facebook for couples, how to deal when you're married to a metrosexual, and handling coworker crushes. You can also read our expert Q&A for dealing with all kinds of couples issues. Find tips on making friends as a couple, managing work stress as a pair, and avoiding common newlywed arguments about stuff like cleaning and entertaining. We'll help you solve issues with everyone -- your honey, your couple friends, your in-laws -- and find solutions that work in every part of your life, from the bedroom to the office. From whether it's okay to tell friends about your issues to breaking out of a sex rut, we've got you covered. And don't forget your fellow Nesties! We've pulled together lists of real couple gripes and likes, Nesties' marriage secrets, and their most ridiculous fights -- you're sure to relate to something! Or find even more sympathetic ears with our relationships message board.

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Love Q&A: Handling Arguments?


The Nest Q&A

How do we cool off after a fight without one of us leaving?


We’re sure you’ve heard the saying that you shouldn’t go to bed angry, but sometimes sleep -- or food -- can be the perfect cure for crankiness. Without going to separate rooms to just stew in your anger, decide whether you want to talk it out right there and then, or if it would be better to book a time to discuss the issue. That’s right -- as in an appointment. Think about it: If he pisses you off right before you leave for work and your only time to discuss it is later that night, the eruption tends to be smaller because you’ve had a few hours to cool off.

Using the same idea, the next time you’re about to brawl, say something calm, like, “Hey, this is really upsetting to me. I need to decompress a bit and think things out. Let’s meet on the couch in 3 hours.” In that time, do what you need to think things through: Write in a journal, blog, take a walk, go to the gym. Leaving the house isn’t the worst thing either. Just make sure you don’t call your mom or a friend. Keep in mind that you'll ultimately move on from this argument, but it’s harder for your best friend to forgive and forget.

-- The Nest Editors

See More: Couple Issues , Love & Sex