My husband just announced that he doesn’t know if he wants kids. I’m so upset -- what should I say to him?
Yikes! The decision of whether to have kids is one that should be tackled before walking down the aisle. If it was -- and your husband flipped the script -- there’s no doubt that this is a shock to your system. What do you say to him now? Nothing! Don’t talk until you can calmly discuss the issue. Then tell him that you're very certain that you do want children and you’re worried that he’s on the fence. (Remember, his mind isn’t completely made up.) Change scares people, and there's no bigger change than marriage and kids. Ask him why he’s hedging. Is he scared? Suggest babysitting a nephew. Is he worried you’re not financially stable enough to support a child? Come up with a projected budget. Or, if he’s concerned that a child will interfere with your relationship, talk to couples around your age that have kids. But sometimes men use this tactic to signal unhappiness in the relationship. Ask him that question directly, and if he's unhappy, consider seeing a marriage counselor to discuss and resolve the issue.
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