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how to: deal with issues

Every marriage is bound to encounter a few bumps along the road, especially when you're first starting out. We're here to help you out with solutions to couples issues and common newlywed arguments. First, find out about the tried-and-true stuff your parents probably wish they'd known. We've sorted out the newlywed "rules" you can ignore from the relationship mistakes you need to avoid. Learn the right way to handle a fight and the solutions to the most common newlywed arguments. We've also got help for couples issues that are specific to the modern marriage. For example, the four rules of Facebook for couples, how to deal when you're married to a metrosexual, and handling coworker crushes. You can also read our expert Q&A for dealing with all kinds of couples issues. Find tips on making friends as a couple, managing work stress as a pair, and avoiding common newlywed arguments about stuff like cleaning and entertaining. We'll help you solve issues with everyone -- your honey, your couple friends, your in-laws -- and find solutions that work in every part of your life, from the bedroom to the office. From whether it's okay to tell friends about your issues to breaking out of a sex rut, we've got you covered. And don't forget your fellow Nesties! We've pulled together lists of real couple gripes and likes, Nesties' marriage secrets, and their most ridiculous fights -- you're sure to relate to something! Or find even more sympathetic ears with our relationships message board.

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Love Q&A: I Don't Want to Sound Like a Nag

Q.

The Nest Q&A

I try not to nag my husband, but sometimes I really need to remind him of the things he needs to do. He says I hassle him, so how can I come across more nicely?

A.

Many of us don’t like being told what to do, so we do the opposite. And the more we’re reminded of chores that need completing, the longer they’ll take to get done. We assume you don’t stand over him wagging a finger in his face, but recognize that he’s annoyed and validate his feelings. Then follow with your feelings: frustration that he’s not listening to you or doing things as soon as you expect them to be done. Phrase your demands differently. For example: “Honey, I know you might not want to think about this now, but we need to review the credit report and I would really appreciate your help.” If you stay calm and communicate, you’ll both get more things done with a smile rather than mutual eye-rolling.

-- The Nest Editors

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