Q.
My husband got a job offer across the country. I don't want to move (I love my job). What's the solution?
A.
If the job is something your guy has dreamed of since childhood (team physician for the Dallas Cowboys, comedy writer for Letterman), call the movers. Why? Because let's say you convince your husband to turn down the gig. In his head, that job will obtain mythic stature (that is, he could've been the team doc who got promoted to quarterback). And then there's the risk that he'll (subconsciously) resent you for standing in the way of "the job that would have made his life complete."
Still, that's no reason for you to sit at home eating bonbons. Why not ask your boss if you could telecommute? Or take this opportunity to fulfill a dream of your own-- from finishing that screenplay to getting an MBA. Whatever you do, don't stay put while your sweetie moves a gazillion miles away (unless there's a set time frame, like he's being transferred to the London office for six months). Long-distance works about as well now as it did when your college boyfriend moved to Seattle and you decided to stay in Boston. What college boyfriend? Yes, exactly.
-- The Nest Editors
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