My husband said he’d quit smoking after the wedding, but he hasn’t. What can I do?
Your husband likely meant it, but nicotine is one of the hardest addictions to kick -- right up there with heroin (seriously). Willpower and your encouragement alone aren’t always enough. But there are ways to make it easier -- like nicotine patches, gums, and prescription meds that help the cravings. Check out smokefree.gov so you can both be realistic about what it’ll take. Regularly ask how you can help. Maybe he’d love you to stock up on pretzels for munching or go for a walk when he’s jonesing. But if he wouldn’t, he’ll resent those same gestures, thinking of you as the smoking police; so follow his lead. Invite him to vent when he’s having cravings or relapses -- many smokers worry that they’ll be judged, so they stay silent, feel lame, and go back to the pack. One good idea: Tell him that you need to make some health changes too (like losing weight or working less), and set goals together. That way, you can both share your struggles. And set up a reward, like a weekend away or a new TV, if you both succeed for, say, three months.
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