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how to: deal with issues

Every marriage is bound to encounter a few bumps along the road, especially when you're first starting out. We're here to help you out with solutions to couples issues and common newlywed arguments. First, find out about the tried-and-true stuff your parents probably wish they'd known. We've sorted out the newlywed "rules" you can ignore from the relationship mistakes you need to avoid. Learn the right way to handle a fight and the solutions to the most common newlywed arguments. We've also got help for couples issues that are specific to the modern marriage. For example, the four rules of Facebook for couples, how to deal when you're married to a metrosexual, and handling coworker crushes. You can also read our expert Q&A for dealing with all kinds of couples issues. Find tips on making friends as a couple, managing work stress as a pair, and avoiding common newlywed arguments about stuff like cleaning and entertaining. We'll help you solve issues with everyone -- your honey, your couple friends, your in-laws -- and find solutions that work in every part of your life, from the bedroom to the office. From whether it's okay to tell friends about your issues to breaking out of a sex rut, we've got you covered. And don't forget your fellow Nesties! We've pulled together lists of real couple gripes and likes, Nesties' marriage secrets, and their most ridiculous fights -- you're sure to relate to something! Or find even more sympathetic ears with our relationships message board.

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Relationship Q&A: Love but Not in Love?


The Nest Q&AI think my husband loves me but isn't in love with me. He's not affectionate, he never wants to talk, and he seems irritated with me. How do I get through to him?


This is an example of the classic difference between many men and women (not all, but many). You think he's zoned out of the relationship, and he thinks he's breaking his back to be a good husband. If he's like many guys, he thinks his hard work and yard work are showing you his love. You're looking for long talks and tight hugs -- not that you don't appreciate his other efforts. And that's exactly what you have to do: Appreciate and acknowledge the many ways he thinks he shows his love. When he's sure that you get it (even if you're not too sure you do), he'll be more open to the small gestures you need. As for his apparent irritation with you, that's another way guys can be different. It's probably not you that gets his goat; you just happen to be the target (an unfortunate displacement of anger that women can be guilty of too). Let him know you sense he might be irritated (don't unequivocally state that you know he's cranky), and that if he wants to talk, you're there. And if he wants space to unwind, all he has to do is ask for it. Perhaps when he sees you're appreciating him for him -- not for his hugs -- he'll feel more at ease in general.

[Nestpert] Nili Sachs, PhD, a marriage and relationships coach in Minneapolis

-- Grace Jidoun

See More: Couple Issues , Love & Sex , Sex Q&A