A lovers' spat is one drama you should not save for your mama (or your pals). If you head straight for the phone after a fight to bitch to anyone who will listen, it's time to break the habit. Here's why.

I feel like some of these are between just your beau and you, but it's important to share your issues with other people too! Just because you're married doesn't mean you only have to talk to eachother about problems that you're having together. It always helps me to talk to my girlfriends to know that I'm not alone and for them to put things back into perspective. Sometimes, there are things that you just shouldn't have to put up with and your friends can help you realize that! So, keep on gabbing about those fights people!!

I agree that this article is not helpful at all. But Annamarie, I worry about your entry... he sounds kind of abusive. With that said, what country are you in? I know culturally there are different expectations of husband/wives in different countries, and it sounds like he may need to experience some of what we do here. (You've obviously experienced it there). Can you both come home and spend some time, maybe with your family, so he can see what "roles" you grew up with? My mom and dad are from different countries, and the met in my dad's country but when he moved here, my mom wouldn't date him until he dated other american girls so he would understand her more. I think it worked fairly well for them. Just a thought. Take care.

I think this article is incomplete. There are many, many other issues that couples disagree about. Anyway ladies, who do u talk to about ur MIL ? >.

this is very true.

My SIL does this! Anytime her hubby does something she doesn't like, thinks is mean or irresponsible she calls our other SIL (his sister) & "tells on him". That prompts SIL to tell their mom who is supposed to then advise her son to do what makes his wife happy. UGH! grow up & handle your own marriage!!

What IS this trash??? Come on Nest, you are really blowing it. Consider me Unsubscribed.

Really ppl? This advice is the same advice I got from our premarital councilor. You can't go running to your friends and your family when you and your spouse have fights or disagree on something. I don't understand those of you who think this is ok? Have you NEVER had your parents or your friends hold or carry a grudge for you? Have you NEVER worked out the issue of your husband's job hunting/house cleaning/whatever, only to have the people you complained to form the impression that your spouse is lazy or a slob? This article is right. Your friends and family will gladly fight for you and be on your team and that can be comforting, but having them take up the grudge, one they will hold on to FAR longer than you will, will only make it difficult to convince them that he/she HAS changed when the issue sets itself right. Our councilor told us that the ONLY people to "complain" about your husband to, are people who DON'T have a vested interest in one party over the other. Our pastors, councilors, and mutual friends (ones we trust to have good advice and who love us both equally and will give us tough love advice) are the only people we go to and we GO TOGETHER. If we don't go together (as I have before) I know they're the people I SHOULD be going to, because they say, "Come back when you have your husband with you and we can talk about this together." This isn't a bad article. I learned these lessons from people who made these mistakes 20-30 years ago and had to undo the damage decades into their marriages. Maybe the people who this this article is bogus just haven't reaped their "rewards" yet and haven't seen the damage this eventually does in your marriage.

I've been pissed about the same thing he stayed out too late. I've mentioned it before, he did not respect how i feel so I realize I need to reconnect with some friendship I put on the back burner. I need to put some space between me and my husband he has a social life outside of me I need to do the same. I didn't talk to an outside source about it I decided I'm not going to give him that much respect to consider his feelings when I go out, not to stay out to long, weather that's right or wrong. I have to do it for me. I have to back up a little.

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